Tyumen residents recall school bullying and teacher inaction

Residents of Tyumen shared memories of school bullying they faced over the years. Many noted that bullying took various forms — from offensive nicknames to physical attacks.

Several people pointed out teachers’ inaction. One woman from Tyumen said: «At my school, those who bullied and beat others were actually protected. I was only helped when I transferred to another school and was old enough to stand up for myself. In elementary school, no one helped; they just made me apologize in front of the whole class for being ‘that way.’ But what way — I still don’t understand.»

Another resident recalled: «I was bullied in the early 2000s too. Teachers pretended not to notice. That’s what strikes me most. For three years, every single day, they tormented me; in 9th grade I decided to switch to another class, and everything normalized. All because I was a shy kid.»

Another comment addressed the role of the homeroom teacher: «They bullied and tormented. It happened. I survived. Of course, it all stems from the homeroom teacher. They know everything going on, even what happens in the students’ families. If the homeroom teacher is indifferent, bullying is inevitable. I was teased too, called ‘blubberlips.’ I used to be ashamed of my lips, but now people purposely plump theirs.»

Stories of verbal bullying were also common. One woman shared: «I was bullied in class. Because I didn’t attend gym due to asthma. Because I didn’t swear, drink, or smoke. My clothes were unfashionable. No one actually beat me. They just laughed and verbally abused me. Anyway. But I didn’t shoot anyone or set fires. I didn’t even complain to my parents. Back then you couldn’t tell; it would have been worse. Those were the ‘90s.»

Another respondent added: «I was called ‘mop’ because I was tall and thin. But not by classmates. That was in 7th–8th grade. Up north. Kids are cruel, but I don’t remember crying about it. If they really provoked me, I could kick them — I had long legs. A couple years later, I remember the bullies trying to ingratiate themselves with me at a nightclub. I looked at them in surprise, remembering how they treated me. The main thing is to fight back immediately so no one thinks you’re weaker; don’t be afraid.»

Physical confrontations also occurred. One reader mentioned: «My sister and brother fought with classmates at school. A boy pushed my sister so far that she threw a desk at him; he never bothered her again. My brother would fight after school, and then they became best friends.»

Another story about decisive resistance: «I went to school from 1994 to 2005; I saw a lot over the years. Times were hard, and my clothes were very simple. Social classes were especially noticeable back then. Squinty looks, nitpicking, even boycotts. They would empty my backpack into the hallway and tear up my notebooks in front of the whole class. That was in 2nd–3rd grade. I understood one thing: if I stayed silent, I wouldn’t survive. So I dealt with the most insolent girl in class, so to speak, fought back. After that, no one bothered me.»

A case from 2007: «We moved to the city. The homeroom teacher warned me right away: the class isn’t very good, you have to stand up for yourself; if you can’t, they’ll bully you. This was 2007, 7th grade. I was a quiet kid. And yes, as the homeroom teacher said, that’s how it happened. A classmate bullied me for a week or so. I couldn’t take it anymore. In front of the whole class, with no teacher present, I screamed at him with such profanity that even I was shocked. And just like that, it stopped. He never bothered me again.»

Some found life lessons in the bullying. One resident said: «But I grew up to be a strong person. And I have my own opinion. Sometimes I think back to my childhood and marvel at how such a fragile girl was such a strong person. I’ve forgiven my classmates.»

Another reader applied the experience to raising children: «In high school, I started defending the weak, because by then I had authority among my peers; I wouldn’t let anyone be bullied even by boys. When I had my own children — a son and a daughter — I told them how important it is from the start to show you’re not weak and to have a point of view. I always tell them to defend the weak and disabled. They follow my advice.»

Bullying also affected families. One parent noted: «My older son faced bullying. Yet the school administration said he was to blame and suggested he switch to home schooling.»

Memories of the ‘90s included violence: «In the ‘90s, all sorts of things happened. I wasn’t touched; I didn’t touch anyone. People were especially afraid of the big bullies because we knew they had organized crime groups behind them, even though they themselves were nothing. An acquaintance of mine was beaten unconscious in the school hallway because of a pierced ear.»

On November 28, a high school student died in one of the city’s schools.