At 19, woman gains custody of four siblings after neglect

— We lived in a nightmare. Mom would come home drunk at night, wake me up and demand that I cook something or trim her nails, and then she«d start a scandal — she wouldn»t let us sleep, she tormented us, beat both me and Maxim, and grandma to such an extent that we«d run outside and wait for her to fall asleep. We could sit in the closet like that for half the night.

Anya only remembers her sober mother from when she was very little, back when she and her younger brother Maxim were still in kindergarten. She cherishes warm memories from that time along with the only toy her mother ever gave her — a stuffed hedgehog. That«s it. Then her father committed suicide, her mother drank relentlessly and disappeared from home. While still in school, Anya had to take care of her younger brother, then three more children born to her mother, and at 19 she took all of them under her custody. How such a young girl made this decision and how the family, which has been through many trials, now celebrates New Year — in this report from 74.RU.

«Mom simply didn»t care«

Anya was born in a small village in the Varnensky District. While she and her brother were little, their great-grandmother looked after them, but at some point the elderly woman«s nerves gave out, and she was forced to leave her own home and go live with her son — she was already well over 80 by then. And then hell began. According to the girl, her mother didn»t work, and there was no money in the family. The pittance that Anya received as a survivor«s pension (her father was listed only on her birth certificate) was simply drunk away.

— Mom started bringing large groups of guests home. We were always poor, we essentially had no food or anything, but she«d give them the last of what we had. They made noise all night, drank, fought. We had a hall and a room — there weren»t even doors, just curtains hanging. So we did our homework squatting, slept through that noise, — Anya recalls. — But we didn«t complain to anyone because we didn»t want to be taken to an orphanage — mom scared us with that, it seemed like a prison to us. We kept quiet, even when there was nothing to eat. Once, Maxim and I dug up potatoes from the neighbors« garden with our hands, just to somehow feed ourselves, because mom simply didn»t care.

When Anya was 16, her mother herself put her in an orphanage. By that time, there were already four children in the family, Margarita and Zhenya had been born, and a fifth was on the way.

— She started complaining to the guardianship authorities that I was an uncontrollable child, though that wasn«t true. Back then, I was the only one with a survivor»s pension — 8,000 rubles (about $90 at current rates), and we lived on that. She received the money on her card. So she got rid of me, got the money, and drank, — the girl believes. — When I mentioned this at the orphanage, they closed her account and transferred the payment to me. She came immediately, started saying: «Anya, we can»t manage without you,« asked me to come back home.

Vladik

Soon after, the mother went to the maternity hospital, leaving the younger ones with Anya, who had just turned 17.

— She called, said that Vladik was born with a pathology, the doctors suggested abandoning him. I was in shock, — the girl says. — He has a congenital cleft lip and palate, but the doctors said it could be corrected surgically. I said: «How can you leave him? He»s your child!« She said: »Then we«ll go to Chelyabinsk for a month.» And they left. She vowed to stop drinking. We lived alone for a month on my 8,000 rubles.

By the time of discharge from the hospital, Anya and Maxim had found a crib and set up everything for the baby. The mother returned home with the child and kept her word for six months, but after a trip to St. Petersburg for surgery, she relapsed again.

— She arrived, came in, handed over the child, brought in the bags, said: «I»ll pay for the taxi now and come back.« In the end, the car left, and she disappeared. She came back drunk two days later. We took her wallet, called relatives. She beat me for that, gave me a black eye, and threw out all my things — kicked me out of the house, — Anya recalls with tears in her eyes. — I had my Unified State Exam, I went to the exam with a black eye. While finishing school, I lived with relatives. There was a moment when I didn»t want to live, but I didn«t have the strength…

The last straw

Anya dreamed of studying law, and to save up for tuition, she had to get a job as a waitress. Later, relatives helped her move to Chelyabinsk — her godfather added the missing amount for studies, her aunt arranged for her to stay in a dormitory.

— Maxim was 15 and stayed home as the eldest. We kept in touch, and I understood that mom was behaving even worse there, — Anya says.

And in March 2020, a COVID-19 self-isolation regime was announced. No one was waiting for the girl at home, but she was accepted into another family — the parents of her future husband. With Marat, they spent the quarantine in Varna, and in the summer they moved into their own house there. But the fate of the children didn«t give the older sister peace. Periodically, she and Marat would take them in. And in August, according to Anya, the mother disappeared again with little Vladik, leaving the others at home without food.

— That summer, she was receiving large payments for the children from the president, but nothing changed at home: her drunk friends broke a window — it was just taped up with plastic, the washing machine broke — a mountain of laundry piled up, the fence fell. She didn«t even buy proper food for the children. In August, Maxim called me, said: »They refused us at the store just now, didn«t even give us bread. They said let mom pay the debt first.» Before, they at least boiled pasta in water, but even that ran out, — Anya recalls. — I said: «Maxim, let»s decide something. We have a house, I«ll take you,» though I still didn«t imagine how it would all work. And we called the guardianship authorities.

The same day, three children were taken to an orphanage, and Anya started searching for her mother with two-year-old Vladik.

— I searched for her for three days, — she continues. — Then one of her drinking buddies called, said: «Take Vladik, your mother was taken to prison.» When I saw him, I just had tears in my eyes… — Anya suddenly falls silent, trying to cope with the surge of emotions. — He was so thin, exhausted. I grabbed him, ran home. Marat and I washed him, changed him, fed him, and he immediately fell asleep, he was exhausted.

The guardianship authorities told Anya that they would take her younger brother to a baby home, the nearest one — in Troitsk.

— I started begging them to let me raise him myself, said that I would take all the children and apply for custody. I understood the chances were slim because I was 19, unmarried, had no housing of my own, and my income — only 8,000 rubles from the survivor«s pension, — the girl admits. — But it was at the guardianship office that they told me about Kristina Yevtushenko, who took in all her brothers and sister after their parents died. And her story gave me faith that everything would work out.

Marat

Of course, the question of taking in the children still needed to be discussed with her future husband. His parents and grandmother supported the decision immediately, but Anya understood perfectly well that it was a huge responsibility for a young man (Marat was 22), and not everyone is ready to just accept four children into their family, even if they are the siblings of the girl he loves.

— I told Marat: «I»ll accept any decision you make. If you«re against it, I»ll rent an apartment, work, but I«ll take them.» He first took a pause, but then called when I was at work and said: «Let»s all live together in our house.« He said it so warmly and kindly, I even cried. Because he»s my loved one, and it would have been very hard to choose, but I wouldn«t have abandoned the children anyway, — Anya says.

Little Vladik was left with Anya immediately. She switched to distance learning and got a job. With Marat, they set up a schedule of two days on, two off, so someone was always home with the baby.

— Marat taught Vladik to hold a spoon on his own and potty-trained him while I was working. After that, he started talking about having our own child, apparently some paternal instinct awoke, and we started planning for a baby, — the young mother recalls.

With the older children, everything turned out to be more complicated — the commission on the family situation was scheduled only a month later.

— For a month, mom didn«t visit the orphanage once, didn»t inquire, didn«t call, so when they asked me what I proposed, I answered that she should be deprived of parental rights. She didn»t come to court, — Anya says. — I immediately started gathering documents for temporary custody, and on December 30 they brought me the children. We started preparing for the holiday, buying gifts, setting the table, decorating the Christmas tree.

Anya admits she never doubted her decision for a second:

— I wasn«t scared at all. I lived through all this since childhood, and as a teenager, when I cried after mom»s abuse, I said that the younger ones wouldn«t live in this hell. I always lived with that thought.

All horrors are behind

For five years now, Anya has been caring for her brothers and sister, and four years ago another baby appeared in their family — Alim, the son of Anya and Marat. Over time, the family moved to Chelyabinsk because Vladik had already undergone several operations and constantly requires treatment and monitoring from doctors. The eldest, Maxim (he«s now 20), moved to the city to study, and the young mother believes there are more opportunities in the city for the others as well.

Anya bought an apartment with a mortgage and now lives with the kids in Parkovy. Maxim rented a studio nearby, works and helps his sister. Marat is on the special military operation (SVO), but also tries to help when possible. Four-year-old Alim and seven-year-old Vladik go to kindergarten, and in the evenings Vlad has school preparation and speech therapy sessions. The boys, like two little brothers, hug when Anya picks them up each from their own group in the evening.

— Alimchik! — Vladik shouts, takes a candy from his pocket and carefully hands it to the little one. Then he tells his older sister how he helped the teacher clear snow in the playground.

Margarita and Zhenya study in one of the largest schools in Chelyabinsk, they say it«s all pluses — you won»t find so many friends in a village. At first glance, it«s clear that Margarita is a very independent girl and a big helper: without a word, she pours tea, sets the table, and if the boys spill something, she calmly cleans it up. Zhenya practices Thai boxing with Maxim, so the brothers, despite the age difference, are on the same wavelength.

Anya not only manages the household, sees everyone off to kindergarten and school, but also runs her blog, engages in self-development, organizes events, so life in the house is full of care. Recently, the kids started a renovation and updated the studio for New Year — they did the plastering, painting, and wallpapering themselves, and it turned out very cozy.

About New Year

New Year is a special holiday for Anya«s family, and not only because five years ago they were reunited practically just before the chimes struck.

— Back when grandma was alive, all her sons would gather, sit at a big table laden with food, everyone smiled, rejoiced. I always remember that with nostalgia. After grandma died, that didn«t happen anymore, and I always wanted to preserve that and pass it on to the children, — she says.

So the family gathers, prepares delicious dishes, and all make wishes together. Anya answers the question about her dream for 2026 without hesitation:

— I want to get my driver«s license and buy a car, then I»ll be able to drive the younger ones to their activities. The boys are growing up, I want them to be able to stand up for themselves. And also — for the special military operation to end and for us all to be together.