9 Daily Habits That Make Us Unhappy
There are many daily habits that can make a person unhappy, and each has their own, so to speak «familiar and unique» ones, reports Doctor Piter. Those that occur quite frequently were discussed by psychologist Alena Moskvina.
Alena Moskvina is a clinical psychologist, non-medical psychotherapist, and coach.
1. Staying Late at Work
This practice leaves less time for your own life, turning you into a person who lives to work. Other relationships also take a back seat, if not fifth place. If this is not a temporary measure for you, but a usual occurrence — it definitely needs to be changed.
2. Not Allowing Yourself to Rest
There is a certain trend now: either you are efficient, or an outsider. No one, of course, wants to be among the latter, so a person tries to fill every minute with something useful. If you do this not out of your own desire, but to please something or someone — it«s a failing strategy.
Even if you have a lot to do — a small child, a large family, someone dependent on you — this, oddly enough, is also no reason to give up rest and self-care. At least an hour a day spent on your own pleasure can restore and give strength.
3. Ignoring Fatigue and Poor Well-being
Many act on the principle «as long as I don»t fall, everything«s fine.» But you don«t have to fall to have a reason to take care of yourself. There are special cases when this is very difficult to do, but objectively such cases are few. And even in them, a way out can sometimes be found, just it might not be on the surface.
When you do fall, more serious measures and time will be required for recovery. Imagine that you ignored a cavity and let the tooth reach the state of a throbbing nerve. And yet it was simpler and cheaper to allocate time earlier and remove a small spot. With fatigue, it«s the same story, just less obvious.
4. Taking Everything on Your Shoulders
«Ask for help? What next! Am I weak and can»t handle it myself?« Why test yourself and your strength if it»s not necessary?
Carrying a sack of potatoes on your back or asking a neighbor for a cart and covering the same distance, pushing the cart with the sack in front of you — are completely different stories, different loads. If the first option is closer to you, be prepared to pay attention to your back and necessary rest later. But it«s much simpler to ask for help and get a resource or direct participation from another person (maybe the neighbor would help carry that unfortunate sack), to make the task easier. Even if you get a refusal — it»s no reason to despair: you can ask someone else for help.
This also includes the issue of delegation, which often arises when performing work tasks. You don«t have to be a hero by taking everything on yourself. Especially if it can be done more simply and differently.
5. Not Resolving Conflict Situations
Sometimes it«s very difficult to meet halfway, especially if you believe that the truth is on your side, or you»re waiting for the first steps towards reconciliation from the other side. But as long as we keep the relationship in a state of conflict, we ourselves spend attention, strength, emotions, and other resources on them. We can think through options and weigh everything that happened. But what«s the point? When strong emotions fade, it»s much better to turn to the person and thoroughly explain what exactly hurt you, what you wanted to convey to the interlocutor, what was important to you, and what you ultimately want to achieve.
Be prepared that the interlocutor sees it differently and may not agree. Nevertheless, set yourself the task of resolving the conflict and taking the first step. This doesn«t mean you have to beat yourself up and shower with apologies. At the very least, you»ll make an attempt to weaken the conflict and «pass the ball» to the interlocutor so that they make a return pass for reconciliation. The first step is not weakness, but wisdom.
6. Saying «Yes» When You Want to Say «No», and Vice Versa
How we don«t want to offend other people! And this often manifests when others ask us for some favor. If we can do it without harming ourselves or even get some pleasure from it, nothing prevents us from responding.
But if you already have your own plans or in general it goes against your desires, beliefs, and principles, boldly say «no». It«s not a fact that the other person will be upset at all. And even if so, they should understand that you really might not have the opportunity to help them.
7. Ignoring Simple Rules for Maintaining Health
Both physical and mental. This concerns daily routine and sleep, eating habits, maintaining water balance in the body, walks in the fresh air, moderate physical activity, visits to specialist doctors. Especially if you know about health problems.
8. Waking Up and Falling Asleep with Your Phone
The phone is an integral attribute of modern life. It«s clear that you need to be aware of everything, but at least not before sleep and not immediately after waking up.
In the morning, our body and brain need to tune in for the day and start «loading» gradually. Some news or messages can throw us off balance, because consciousness still reacts sharply to this or that information. Some need 10 minutes, others an hour, to start perceiving anything with a cold heart and a switched-on head.
Before sleep, approximately the same thing happens. The body and brain need time to switch work mode, while any information keeps it in the usual working state. Even watching a feed of videos with cute cats strains the eyes and brain, as we examine what«s happening on the screen and produce emotional reactions.
9. «Maintaining» Clutter
Besides the fact that accumulating dust has never benefited anyone, clutter creates strong «visual noise». Even if it«s familiar chaos around, it doesn»t mean we can always find everything in it — we waste time searching, get angry, anxious.
Accumulated clutter exerts certain moral pressure — we constantly mentally return to the fact that we still need to clean up. And these thoughts swirling in our head distract us from something really important or desired. Clutter accumulates, and starting to restore order becomes harder and harder: it turns into a proverbial snowball. And yes: the common phrase «clutter in the house — clutter in thoughts and soul» is indeed true.
Define a space for each category of things, wash clothes and curtains, clean windows and floors, and you«ll see that you somehow have more strength and other tasks start to go smoothly. It really works.
How to Change Habits
Of course, one or two points from this list are unlikely to ruin your life much. But, if you recognized yourself in at least half of them, it«s time to think about changes — maybe life will stop seeming unhappy.
The psychologist advises acting step by step:
— Start by choosing actions that are feasible for you and devote time to them. When they become a habit, proceed to the next ones. Don«t take on everything at once: in such a mode, it»s easy to get lost, stop observing something, and ultimately simply despair, leaving changes as an empty venture.
Believe me: all this has a tendency to grow like a snowball. Depending on the rhythm of life, it can grow faster or slower, just as it can have its own «painful» points that aren«t on the list. And it»s better to start dealing with it now than to find yourself without strength and deeply unhappy after some time.
