Krasnoyarsk Women Share Mentoring Stories for Orphanage Children

Orphanage children are seeking friends among caring Krasnoyarsk residents. Children fill out questionnaires to find someone to go hiking with, confide in, or simply be silent with. NGS24.RU correspondent Svetlana Chernushevich spoke about the joys and difficulties of mentoring with those who have already taken on the mentorship of children from orphanages— organizers and participants of the mentoring program at the Krasnoyarsk Center for Social and Psychological Support «All Ours».

«I was so angry about what happened in his life once»

— In 2015, I joined the mentoring program as a volunteer. A volunteer in a psychoneurological boarding school, — says Antonina Lisenkova.

Antonina Lisenkova is the executive director of the Center for Social and Psychological Support «All Ours», where they now organize a mentoring program for children from orphanages in the Krasnoyarsk region. And she is a mentor herself.

— I remember my first time when I came to the psychoneurological boarding school. We discussed the schedule for when we would meet. Of course, there was training before that, all the prepared documents. But this was the first time I was there. And I heard someone drop a phrase that they would go from this institution to the next one. I said, «Wait, what do you mean the next one?» He said, «Well, they won»t release them.« I remember that it really struck me then and, essentially, divided my life into »before« and »after«, — says Antonina.

So Antonina met her first mentee, who was later transferred to an adult institution in another city, and the mentor continued to communicate with her remotely. Soon, Antonina got a second mentee— a boy from an orphanage.

— He went through a lot, much injustice. I remember I was so angry about what happened in his life once, how unfair it was— that he is such a wonderful, remarkable boy, and he had to endure so much. He didn«t become bitter. I look at him— he was a kind guy, and he still is. He preserved that human part in himself, and it helps me when some troubles happen— well, gee, if he is such a resilient guy who speaks warmly about his experience, his past, then I, an adult, can definitely do the same, — says Antonina.

With both mentees, Antonina maintains relationships to this day, and her personal experience later turned into practically a life«s work. Now Antonina, together with a team of like-minded people, among other social projects, teaches caring Krasnoyarsk residents to be mentors— kind friends and older companions for children from orphanages.

The Krasnoyarsk center «All Ours» provides comprehensive assistance to residents and graduates of orphanages and psychoneurological boarding schools, prevention of social orphanhood, helping families in difficult life situations and crises.

«I am a mentor, I am a friend, I won»t be your mother«

— I have such a position in life— I believe that volunteering is inherent in most people. To one degree or another, every person has a need to give something selflessly, — says mentor with almost two years of experience Olga Komarova.

In ordinary life, Olga Komarova is a wife, mother of three children, and a doctor of medical and social expertise. In the mentoring program, where adults become older companions for children from orphanages, the woman has been participating since January 2024.

— My participation in the first meeting with the mentee was minimal, — recalls the mentor. — Because my mentee, like probably most children who filled out the questionnaire, was very waiting for a mentor. In the first meeting, children try to seem better than they really are. So our meeting went such that my mentee tried to hold my attention, tried to show how good she is, what she can do. That is, she entertained me, I only had to nod my head, agree— «yes-yes» and praise her. That«s how our first meeting went.

The first 10 meetings necessarily take place on the basis of the orphanage. So that the mentor and child get to know each other, see each other in different situations. After that, by application to the orphanage, the volunteer mentor can organize an off-site event for the child.

Before the meeting, there were fears, doubts, says Olga— «will I bring benefit to this particular child, what will I be useful to him for».

— I came to a child who was still nine years old at that time. This is an age when children in the orphanage still very much want to be adopted. So in the first times, we had difficulties explaining to the child that I came specifically as a friend, not as a potential parent, — recalls Olga. — To build relationships so as not to lose contact, but at the same time clearly set a limit, that I am a mentor, I am a friend, I won«t be your mother. And all our conversations in the first meetings, one way or another, led to this. We clearly established boundaries, probably only after about two months from the start of communication, when the mentee started clearly calling me by name. That was the moment when she really built in her consciousness that I am only a friend to her. After that, communicating became much easier.

In the center «All Ours», they emphasize that a mentor is not a parent, educator, or sponsor, but an older friend and reliable companion.

Now Olga«s mentee is 10 years old. The woman meets with the girl once a week.

— Relationships are never smooth. Like any relationships, relationships with a mentee child still have some wave-like character, — says Olga. — Now, at the moment, they are stably trusting, that is, I feel that the child trusts me, she can express what worries her, can ask for advice, share something, ask. And I, on my part, try to just listen to her and help.

With the mentee, Olga tries to spend time mainly outside the orphanage territory.

— If the weather permits, we can walk near the orphanage territory, we can go to the city, go to Gremyachaya Griva, go somewhere else to the forest, go to the embankment. Just communication and just walks. Or, if the weather doesn«t permit, then there is an opportunity to go somewhere to a master class, go to a cat café, or visit some exhibition, go to the cinema. Well, in the worst case, we can stay on the orphanage territory— this happens most often if my mentee is sick and she can»t go outside the territory, or if there are some restrictions, — explains Olga.

«He can be himself with me»

— I was terribly nervous, I was incredibly anxious then, mega-responsible, — recalls the start of her mentoring journey mentor Olesya Trus.

In ordinary non-volunteer life, Olesya is a financial manager, manages other people«s capital. The first thought about trying herself in mentoring came to her about four years ago. But, she says, there were many questions and fears, so for some time she just observed those who shared mentoring experience on social networks.

You can follow the life of the center «All Ours» in the group of the same name on the social network VKontakte. There they publish photos and videos from events, and also share news.

A year ago, the woman finally decided— left an application, went through training and was already ready to meet her future mentee, but something went wrong.

— With the first child, who was predicted to be my mentee, and me, accordingly, his mentor, we already had a meeting scheduled— an introduction, and the day before Vasilina, curator of the mentoring program at the center «All Ours», calls me and says that he is being taken into a family— everything is canceled, — recalls Olesya. — I say, my God, good, if everyone who is assigned to me gets taken away. It will be great, even if I never become a mentor. We laughed so much with her.

Olesya soon did become a mentor. The first meeting didn«t go entirely smoothly— already at the entrance to the orphanage, the woman discovered she forgot her passport. Had to go back for the document, call the social worker, warn that she would be late. And so— the meeting.

— I don«t have my own children, so I don»t have some basic understanding of how to interact with children in general. For me, it was also exciting, — admits Olesya. — At first, I think I didn«t close my mouth at all, tried to talk, find out, somehow fill the pause that arises because you don»t really understand what to talk about yet. And, at the same time, you can«t be silent. It»s all difficult. So it was very emotional, I remember, I was so tired when I left.

In the center «All Ours», there is a rule «one mentor— one child». The meaning is that the mentor can give the child enough quality time.

According to Olesya, over the past five years, this meeting has become one of the brightest and most exciting events in her life.

— When we later with the mentee discussed, he said that he, of course, was waiting. He says, I was very interested to see you. He hadn«t seen me beforehand, neither by photo, nor anyhow. He says: »I was glad«, because, actually, there are fewer mentors than children who want to have a mentor. And this, in a certain sense, is a big luck that they found a mentor for you. For a child, it»s a big joy, — says Olesya.

Olesya met her mentee at the end of December 2024. They started communicating regularly at the end of January 2025.

— He can be himself with me. He has such a favorite phrase that he says— he says, I«m tired of smiling. Because he studies well, plays all kinds of sports, sings, leads, such an active one, and, naturally, he is invited everywhere, — says Olesya. — I think that he got in our communication the opportunity to rest. Not only that in the orphanage they are all in sight constantly, plus these social obligations that he has. This mask. And with me, here, as is, that is, he can tell me why someone annoys him. Because in the moment he can»t, for example, share this there, because, I don«t know, someone might tell someone or it»s not accepted. It«s not accepted to be in a bad mood, you must be all always pretty and so on. And with me, it turned out like this.

Sometimes, says Olesya, they can meet with the mentee and just be silent.

«We have 60 questionnaires— that»s 60 chances for the kids«

The Krasnoyarsk Center for Social and Psychological Support «All Ours» works with four orphanages in Krasnoyarsk, as well as with children«s educational institutions in Esaulovo, Kansk, Minusinsk, and Lesosibirsk.

— Eight orphanages, where we have a need for mentors. And now we are even planning a campaign, — says the executive director of the center «All Ours» Antonina Lisenkova. — We have in Krasnoyarsk 60 questionnaires of children— that«s 60 chances for the kids who can find a mentor, who are very, very waiting. They filled out the questionnaire, they told who they are waiting for, told what they are ready to share themselves. In our questionnaire, there is such a question »What can you teach your mentor?« I always tell this story, because it somehow stuck in my soul. One boy, he was still so small, wrote: »And I can teach my mentor to do a somersault.« And, in general, when we found a mentor for this boy, we always asked: »Marina, well, when, when will you do a somersault?«

In the center, they do not hide that mentoring is often not easy.

For volunteer mentors of the center «All Ours», supervision is conducted twice a month, where participants can share problems and experiences. Three times a year— in winter, spring, and autumn— volunteer schools are held— this is a two-day training where participants discuss current problems. Volunteers also have access to individual consultations with a psychologist— they can talk about mentoring experience and about personal problems if something happened in life.

— You need to come into mentoring with the awareness that it is certain work. First of all, as it seems to me, work on yourself, because a child, especially a child from an orphanage, uncovers very many interesting things that you didn«t know about yourself or didn»t want to know, closed your eyes to it. That is, moments can be very difficult, — says the mentor of a boy from an orphanage Olesya Trus. — It is a very big path, not an easy path, but it is a very bright path. And, you know, they say that if you light a candle from a candle, the first one does not stop shining, but there is just more light. Here, globally, it«s the same. We ourselves become better in some moments and this is visible including in my colleague volunteers.

If you want to learn more about the mentoring program, or want to join the team of mentors of the center for family and children assistance «All Ours», leave an application on the website vsesvoi24.ru. Perhaps you will become a new kind friend and older companion for a child who really needs it.

— When you come to the orphanage for the first time, probably, at least I speak from my feelings, you expect that children in the orphanage are some special, — says the mentor of a girl from an orphanage Olga Komarova. — You prepare for something unclear, that he will be different, that he will be not like that. In reality, they are exactly the same as all other children. They are just children. With their dreams, with their desires, with their whims, with their pain, they are no different from other children.

Earlier, NGS24.RU correspondent Svetlana Chernushevich spoke with the curator of the mentoring program in the Krasnoyarsk center «All Ours» Vasilina Stepanova, and learned what simple things are lacking for kids in orphanages, why a mentor for a boy is not always should be a man, and how to become a mentor yourself.