Athlete and Wife Overcome Cancer, Welcome Son

Arthur is a well-known Yakut track and field athlete, a master of sports and a champion of multiple competitions. Valentina is a vibrant, active traveler, in love with life. The couple met in St. Petersburg, and a few months later a whirlwind romance began. Nothing foretold trouble, but then Valentina learned she had breast cancer. And the world stood still. But the Burtsevs are not ones to give up: the couple got married, continued to work, undergo treatment, and never gave up their dream of becoming parents. Recently, with the help of a surrogate mother, their son was born, named Daniel. An frank conversation with the couple about how to overcome cancer, decide on a surrogate, and find happiness even in the most difficult times.

Kandalaksha + Ust-Aldan

Arthur was born in Leningrad; he is half African: his father is from Guinea-Bissau, and his mother is from Yakutia. When little Arthur was four years old, his father left and abandoned him, his mother, and his little sister.

— My life was quite interesting, because I spent every summer in my native land, in Yakutia, in the Ust-Aldan District, where all my relatives on my mother«s side are. There are a lot of relatives there, probably more than a hundred people, Arthur recalls. — At age six, I spent a whole year in the village. When I returned to St. Petersburg to go to school, my mother met me at the airport, and I said to her: »Dorobo« (translated from Yakut as »hello«. — Ed.). I had completely forgotten Russian, and had to go to kindergarten for another year to remember it again, Arthur smiles.

The athlete considers Yakut his native language, even though he doesn«t speak it fluently, but understands it perfectly. Overall, Arthur is very attached to the republic and tries to visit every year, and since 2009 he has competed for it.

— Nowhere in Russia, not even in St. Petersburg, do I feel such support as in Yakutia. When I come to my native land, not only relatives but also ordinary residents cheer for me. Athletes know me. That«s very great and pleasant, Arthur believes.

As a child, young Arthur attended many sections: judo, football, paragliding, and even handball. But one day a track and field coach noticed him, and since then Arthur has been in athletics for 25 years.

Valentina is from the town of Kandalaksha in Murmansk Oblast. She recalls her childhood as wonderful and happy alongside her beloved parents. The girl admits that her native land is her love and object of admiration; she even took tourists there. Valentina graduated from school with a gold medal, then moved to St. Petersburg — she enrolled in a technical university.

— Despite always being a creative person and wanting to enter theater school, my parents told me I needed a «normal» and stable job. I obeyed, and studies came easily to me. After graduation, I stayed in St. Petersburg and started working in my field, Valentina says.

In parallel, the young woman«s life involved a lot of sports: she swam ultramarathons (a swim over a distance significantly exceeding the standard marathon, can be 20 kilometers. — Ed.) and ran. All thanks to friends.

— My friends gave me a slot for a 50-kilometer race. I realized I needed a coach and went to a sports club where Arthur worked with his friend Kolya. That«s where we met, Valentina recalls.

According to the girl, she remembers well her first meeting with her future husband. He wasn«t her coach, but on the very first training session Arthur substituted, and that»s how the young people met.

— I didn«t know what Arthur looked like before, and I thought: »I wonder if he speaks Russian? And is he even a coach?« Valentina smiles.

Arthur himself notes that Valentina was impossible not to notice.

— Of course, I remembered her, because Valya burst into our classes. She is bright in appearance and loves to attract attention. At training, she immediately found common ground with everyone, he recalls.

But Arthur had an iron rule: not to build relationships with fellow club members or trainees. However, during joint training, a spark already slipped between him and Valentina. And once Valya joked that she needed a husband.

— I ask him: «Where to find a husband?» And he looked at me and said: «Turn around.» Well, I turned around, and there was a mirror, and in that mirror we stood together, he and I. Well, I naturally thought he was joking and said: «Oh, you just love to joke.» But he, it turns out, wasn«t joking, Valentina shares.

The story continued after Valya decided to leave the club — running, after all, didn«t appeal to her that much. And one evening she received a message from Arthur inviting her to dinner. That»s how their story began.

Instead of a Dream Come True — Cancer

In October 2024, Valentina felt a small lump in her breast and consulted a doctor. She admits she had no thought of anything bad, but the doctor advised a biopsy. A couple of weeks later, the answer came by email.

— I opened the documents and saw those terrible words that it was cancer. I reread it ten times, didn«t understand anything, but I saw the word »cancer.« And I didn»t know how to react. It was as if everything before my eyes floated away, Valentina recalls.

The news of the illness came at a moment when the couple was planning the girl«s dream trip — to swim with whales in Mauritius and have a cozy wedding ceremony for two.

— Once, long before this, Arthur asked me what I dreamed of. And I answered that I had long dreamed of going to warm places and swimming with whales. But I added that even 10–15 years ago it was expensive, and now even more so. To that he replied that I should keep dreaming, and he would be my wizard, Valentina recalls.

Arthur asked his beloved to look up current information about the trip, and Valentina found Mauritius. The couple bought tickets, studied many videos of travel bloggers, and prepared for the trip. They submitted an application to the registry office to marry immediately upon return from vacation.

— In Mauritius, we wanted to arrange a small ceremony just for the two of us. It would be just us and a photographer. That was the plan, the girl says.

The letter with the results came on November 4; Arthur was on a plane at the time — returning from competitions in Sochi.

— It was as if the world and life split into before and after. I wrote to my friend, and she supported me until Arthur arrived. I went to meet him at the airport, Valentina says in a slightly trembling voice. — While waiting for Arthur, I paced back and forth, couldn«t find a place for myself. And when he finally came out, I approached him, hugged him, cried, and told him about the results.

For some time after the diagnosis, Valentina didn«t fully realize what was happening and didn»t believe that cancer was now about her.

— I didn«t understand at all how this could happen to me, because all my life everything had been fine. Nothing extraordinary had happened to me, my health had always been fine. I led a healthy lifestyle, played sports, had no weight problems. In general, it was as if no one around me had ever been ill with cancer or other terrible diseases, she recalls.

Then began trips to centers and meetings with doctors. Valentina was diagnosed with stage one and was even given hope that treatment might avoid chemotherapy — surgery would suffice. The couple still had hope to fulfill the dream and swim with whales. But after each examination, Valentina learned that the situation was worse than previously thought.

— We realized the cancer was aggressive: it spreads quickly. At first, the tumor size on ultrasound was 1.5–2 centimeters, then on mammography 4–5 centimeters, on CT — 9 centimeters. Then we saw that the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit. All this was very frightening, plus I wasn«t very lucky with my first doctors, who poorly explained what was happening to me, Valentina says.

In December, the girl started a course of chemotherapy with intensive doses due to the aggressive disease. Treatment continued until March, and in April surgery was performed.

— My left breast, affected by the disease, was completely removed. An implant was placed and the nearest lymph nodes were removed. After surgery, the material was sent for histology, which showed that the cancer was completely gone. Such a result occurs only in 20% of cases. Chemo worked 100%, Valentina notes.

Treatment took about six months. After surgery, for a month Valentina couldn«t lift her arm due to fluid draining from the incision site. She wore a bandage for another three months. They couldn»t fly to Mauritius, but after starting chemo, the couple married in a small circle on the planned date.

Love Will Save the World. And a Woman

Throughout this difficult journey, Arthur was by his beloved«s side. And, as Valentina says, he never gave her a reason to think that anything had changed between them. Although at some point the girl began to fear that he would love her less.

— I realized I would lose my hair. Lose my breast. And I always associated my feminine attractiveness and sexuality with my appearance, with my luxurious blonde hair, and always thought I had very beautiful breasts. Of course, it was hard for me. I understood that after treatment I would look different, didn«t know exactly how, but different. It seemed to me that before cancer I had certain givens: Arthur asked me to marry him when I was healthy, active, athletic, and beautiful. But now the givens had changed. I called Arthur for a talk and asked if his intentions still held, Valentina shares.

Arthur reacted with surprise, as he had not a single thought of giving up his beloved; he only wanted to go through this path with her.

He always said Valentina was the most beautiful. Even when the girl lost her hair, was weak or not in the mood, she saw not a drop of doubt or change in his feelings in his eyes.

— The illness seemed to unite us instead. This is the difficulty we had to go through together, live through it, and become only stronger from it, Valentina says.

The most important advice for those currently battling cancer is not to be afraid and to seek the opinions of several doctors.

— Don«t be afraid of this diagnosis, you need to start treatment as early as possible and know that cancer is curable in many cases. It is not a death sentence. And even if we go through difficult treatment: chemotherapy, surgeries, radiation, or hormonal therapy, life can be full and happy. It can be better than before, Valentina shares. — I am a vivid example of that. When I was undergoing treatment, positive examples were important to me; I greedily searched for them on social media but found few. Mostly the stories had sad endings, and I projected all that onto myself.

Happy endings in the fight against cancer are indeed rarer. Valentina says this is because people don«t want to remember that period of life and often hide it.

— It seems to me that positive stories are very important and needed. Good examples uplift. In fact, cancer is heavily tabooed and dramatized; there are many other diseases we treat much more simply. Cancer can be survived, and one can live happily with it. My illness became a push to a new life; I became bolder, more mature, and happier.

During treatment, Valentina was greatly helped by a psychologist who rationalized fears and helped her not get stuck in bad thoughts that constantly arose.

On the Desire to Become Parents

Before starting treatment, Valentina was warned that chemotherapy would kill all her eggs, and she was offered to freeze material for the future. The girl recalls this period as difficult because she faced a hard choice.

— For freezing and retrieving eggs, hormonal stimulation was needed. And my cancer was hormone-dependent. Some doctors said stimulation would cause rapid progression of the disease, others said short stimulation wouldn«t affect it. Much was at stake. It was a very difficult decision that only I could make. I consulted many doctors and decided I would do hormonal stimulation and freeze not just eggs but our embryos with Arthur. Firstly, I wanted children specifically from him, and secondly, embryos thaw better than eggs, Valentina says.

Doctors suggested she freeze only eggs or half embryos and half eggs, justifying freezing only embryos by saying Valentina wouldn«t be able to have children with another man. But it was the girl»s own decision.

— I refused and said I wanted children specifically from Arthur, even if we separate, Valentina says firmly.

How to Decide on Surrogacy

Valentina first heard about surrogacy from doctors at the beginning of her treatment. The doctors told her the method is legal and successful. The girl shared this with her husband, and they decided to act.

— After the main treatment, I will be on anti-hormonal therapy for 5 to 10 years. It is needed to prevent cancer recurrence. And all that time pregnancy is forbidden. There are studies that one can take a break from therapy and try to give birth, but for that several important conditions must align. And at the time of my illness, I was already 36, Valentina says.

During treatment, the thought of a surrogate arose. The couple got used to this option, especially Valentina.

— For some reason this story was painful for me: it seemed to me that pregnancy is sacred and that a man loves a woman who carried and bore him a child in a special way. I thought my husband would love me less if I didn«t give birth to him myself. But my psychologist and I talked through my fears and let them go, Valentina shares.

After recovery, the Burtsevs began searching for an agency that selects surrogate mothers. The choice was difficult, information was scarce, and real reviews from actual people were impossible to find. The selection was long and meticulous, and when they found one, they immediately made the first payment.

— The agency started looking for a candidate for us, and quite quickly provided a profile. There are standard legal requirements for a surrogate: age, having her own child born naturally, and health parameters. We had no additional requirements; we agreed. We didn«t meet the girl; we agreed in advance that we didn»t need communication with the surrogate mother because we didn«t really understand why, Valentina says. — She is a stranger to us; our agency controlled her (within reasonable limits). For example, there was a coordinator who went with her to all appointments and ensured she followed doctors» recommendations.

Also, a psychologist and a lawyer communicate with surrogates.

Valentina first saw her son«s surrogate during the first screening at 12 weeks of pregnancy.

— I worried that maybe I wouldn«t like the surrogate in person, that I might feel some antipathy, while she is carrying our son. But in life she turned out to be a very pleasant, neat, tidy girl, and I breathed a sigh of relief. The first screening — those are unimaginable emotions when I first saw the baby, it»s beyond words. I took videos, sent Arthur circles, and he regretted that he couldn«t see it, but nevertheless it was very, very cool, Valentina recalls.

Arthur met the surrogate later, during the filming of an interview organized by the agency. Valentina says that when her husband saw the surrogate with a big belly and realized their son was right there, he even got goosebumps.

The «Standard» surrogacy program costs 3.7 million rubles ($39,800 at current rates). Additionally, the Burtsevs paid for the childbirth program at the maternity hospital and hospitalization expenses — the surrogate was on bed rest. This took an additional 500,000 rubles ($5,400 at current rates).

— The story of where we got the money for this also seems very good to me. Because it coincided that shortly before I got sick, I sold an apartment that I inherited from my grandparents. I used to rent it out, then the tenants moved out. With that money, we thought of investing in a new building or buying land in my native Kandalaksha, but while we were thinking, I was diagnosed with cancer. We put all the money in an account. In general, it seems to me that it was as if my grandparents helped us in this way, Valentina says.

According to her, the story of the birth of their son Daniel is magical, because everything went smoothly — there were funds for the program, a surrogate was found quickly, the first embryo took, the pregnancy proceeded calmly, and a completely healthy baby was born.

Valentina shared that loved ones supported their decision; there was no condemnation or questions from them. Her parents supported her the most.

— For some time I feared condemnation from my close circle of friends and acquaintances, because you don«t know how people will perceive such news. Surrogacy is a taboo topic that can be perceived differently, the girl notes.

A year before the baby«s birth, the Burtsevs traveled: they fulfilled Valentina»s dream and swam with whales in Mauritius, went to Kenya, to a town where world track and field stars train, flew to Japan, where Arthur ran a marathon with an excellent result, visited Kislovodsk, Sochi, and Yakutia.

«Why Is He So White?»

The preliminary due date was set for July 30. The couple settled in St. Petersburg for the last month to prepare for the birth and buy everything necessary. The Burtsevs also consulted a pediatrician on how to care for a newborn.

— At the end of June, our coordinator informed us that the doctor said the baby might be born earlier. On July 8, she said it could happen at any moment. And we were a bit stunned, decided we weren«t ready yet, started buying more things and waiting every day for a call to go to the maternity hospital. We agreed that we wouldn»t be present at the birth, because the process is quite physiological, and we didn«t want to embarrass our surrogate with our presence, Valentina says.

On the morning of July 18 at 08:00, the long-awaited call came. Labor began. No one could predict how long it would last, so Arthur went for a run out of excitement — at that moment the future mother was called again and told that in a couple of hours everything would happen.

The Burtsevs arrived at the maternity hospital, met with the neonatologist, checked into a room, and filled out documents. Fifteen minutes later, newborn Daniel was brought to the couple.

— I don«t know how to describe in words what we experienced. It was incredible! I posted a video where Arthur»s first words were: «Why is he so light?» Valentina laughs. — We saw a little Yakut before us. He was the most, most beautiful child I had ever seen. I know all parents say that, but ours is definitely like that. They put my son on my stomach, I lay with him for almost an hour and couldn«t realize it had happened.

According to her, the first days in the maternity hospital were a blur because the new parents didn«t understand what to do with tiny Daniel.

— What if he breaks, he«s so fragile. Though also so strong, I thought that right after his birth. Now we»re home and immersed in parenting. We realized we«ve sunk into chronic sleep deprivation because the baby wakes up all the time and can cry. Even if he sleeps well, you still have to wake up several times a night to feed him, Valentina says.

The most important conclusion the Burtsevs made after the birth of their long-awaited son is that they are a team and together they can do anything.