Harry Potter Characters Imagined Living in Ufa

Ahead of the New Year, UFA1.RU imagined what would happen if the boy who lived appeared not in England, but here in Bashkiria. And this entire magical world would be here too. How would the characters live, where would they go, and how would they fit into our realities? We fantasized about this topic.

Well, Hogwarts would look something like this, no doubt. Or rather, UUNiT. And where else would the main magical educational institution be located? They would teach not IT specialists and ecologists, but wizards. In Bashkir realities, the letter would probably be delivered by a marten.

Teenagers from all over Bashkiria would get to «Hogunite» or «Uunitwarts» through our beloved railway station. There«s no Platform 9 and 3/4, so please, crash into the wall nearest the toilet. Harry Potter in Russian translates to Garik Gonchar. That»s just for laughs.

Garik, Ronil Weasley and Hermione (write in the comments what her name would be in Bashkir style) along with Malfoy would probably settle in a regular dormitory. See, they«re in shock from where they ended up. There»s not even a fireplace — no renovations! Oh my God, you have to trudge to the bus stop in the frost in the morning!

The distribution of dormitories in Ufa is peculiar. It«s a long way to go. There»s no teleportation fireplace in the dorm, and first-year students aren«t allowed to ride broomsticks so freely yet. We count out 40 rubles (about $0.50 at current rates) and prepare to listen to chanson! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of the Marshrutka.

The other book titles would probably sound like this: «Harry Potter and the Half-Liter of Kumys», «Harry Potter and the Secret Yurt», «Harry Potter and the Curse of the Transport Reform», «Harry Potter and the Gifts of Kartatay», «Harry Potter and the Ufa Ice Crust». Which one do you like more?

Hagrid, their big and kind friend, would probably live in a yurt, serve the young wizards tea with milk, and treat them to homemade chak-chak.

Do you recognize this place? This is Diagon Alley, but in «Art Square». We think it would be located right there. This is the arch towards Chernyshevsky Street. The shot looks like it«s from a movie, such magic. Ufa is almost unrecognizable.

And as Hogsmeade, the «Magic World» park would serve. They don«t serve butterbeer and firewhisky there, but they have what they have. At least you can ride the carousels! And eat sweet cotton candy!

Quidditch, we think, would take place at the «Dinamo» stadium. You can fly high, there are stands, and enough space. The whole of Ufa would come to cheer for their favorite house. Move over, «Salavat Yulayev»!

To punish misbehaving students, instead of the Forbidden Forest, they would be taken to the forest near the City Council. And what, it«s scary there too. And there, probably, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in the professor»s body would drink unicorn blood.

And the Dementors would probably fly near Correctional Colony No. 13 in Chernikovka. They would guard the prisoners. A kind of Azkaban of Ufa vintage.

And for fans of «Twilight», we did a similar piece: we settled the Cullens and Bella in Ufa«s favelas. See what came out of it.