From Truck Driver Dream to Priest: A Spiritual Journey

«I was wandering around, and then I settled into place,» says Father Mikhail, the rector of the Church of the Transfiguration of the Lord in the center of Chita. He served in an honor guard regiment in Moscow and dreamed of becoming a truck driver like his father. He calls his path to God a providence that began with his parents« divorce and a monastery. Before every sermon, he recites the same short prayer, after which the Lord begins to speak through his mouth. Details are in the CHITA.RU material.

Tell us about your childhood.

— I was born on January 29, 1989, in the village of Tataurovo in the Republic of Buryatia. There were four children in the family; I was the second. My parents were Christians, my mother was devout, but my father less so, although he came from an Old Believer family.

In the early 2000s, when I was 14, my father left the family. Then we started going to church more often and attended church school, learning about faith more deeply. I had to help my mother more; I was the eldest man in the family, providing sustenance. We lived on the bank of the Selenga River; sometimes I fished on an island for weeks to have fish for home and sale. We took the train to Lake Baikal, gathering berries, pine cones, and making preserves.

My grandmother is deeply religious; I think she prayed for us all. Everything in life happens according to God«s providence.

My sisters now studied at regency courses and sing in the choir. My younger brother is graduating from a theological seminary. So, the Lord guides us through interesting paths, through some sufferings and deprivations.

I don«t remember when I was first told about God. But I miraculously remember my baptism. It was before I was a year old, in infancy, and that moment is etched in my memory. There was a small font that seemed huge to me. At baptism, the grace of the Holy Spirit is given, and apparently, through that, I remembered. With my own head, so to speak, I came to God only in the monastery. As soon as I entered — it dawned on me, I understood God»s entire essence, felt it.

How did you end up in the monastery?

— During school, I served as a sexton in the church for two years. After ninth grade, the rector blessed me to enter the gymnasium at the Trinity-Sergius Varnitsky Monastery. There, boys complete 10th–11th grade with a theological focus. Again, by God«s providence, I didn»t get in. I arrived late and got flustered at the interview. In school, I was almost an excellent student, but there I couldn«t answer even elementary questions. I remained a novice in the monastery, laboring in obediences for two and a half years. After the monastery, I was conscripted into the army — I ended up in Moscow, in the Russian honor guard regiment. By God»s will, from the first day, I was assigned to guard the regimental church, where I worked.

Returning home to Buryatia, I started thinking about becoming a truck driver — I had that dream since childhood. My father worked as a driver all his life, had all the licenses, and I was drawn to cars, on a genetic level, perhaps. I started thinking about getting a license. My mother at that time worked at the Trinity-Selenginsky Monastery and invited me to a prayer service served by Bishop Evstafy. After the prayer service, he was ready to answer questions; my mother nudged me to ask where to study. The bishop invited me to Chita, to the theological school, and all my doubts fell away.

After studying, I got married, found a life companion among the parishioners. The bishop suggested ordination to the priesthood, but I was gripped by fear; after all, it«s such a big responsibility.

I worked as a driver in the diocese for two years, and another bishop — Vladimir — kept asking: «When will we ordain you?» But I wasn«t ready.

One evening during prayer with my wife, I had a clear sensation, as if something clicked in my head: that«s it, it»s time. All doubts fell away, and my wife also said: «It seems it»s time for you.« The next day, Deacon Innokenty calls, asking if I»m ready. A week later, I became a deacon.

I served first in the cathedral, then in the Resurrection Church, then was appointed rector of the Transfiguration Church and simultaneously spiritual father of the Orthodox gymnasium. Bishop Dmitry blessed me to serve as assistant commander of a military unit for work with believing servicemen. I still work there; in 2023, I was on a business trip to the Special Military Operation zone.

How difficult was it in the monastery with all the restrictions?

— I«ll say that the only hard part was getting up early in the morning for prayer. Otherwise, on the contrary, it was even joyful to perform obedience. There were peers who also didn»t get into the gymnasium. We not only worked but also studied, engaged in spiritual education. It was very good there; I really liked it. The monastery was like a second home. A few years later, I visited, and when I approached the gates, tears even welled up. It was as if the prodigal son had returned home.

Did you ever consider taking monastic vows?

— I thought about it, but back in ninth grade. I was living with my grandmother then, and she asked me to read her the lives of the elders. I understood that she was doing it more for me than for herself. I read a lot about holy elders, and I had a clear desire to dig a cave for myself and settle there.

After three months in the monastery, I came to my cell and clearly realized that my path is family. Although I don«t deny monasticism, maybe someday I»ll go to a monastery. But back then, I had a dream — a wife and at least 10 children. God has given two now, but I hope for more.

But a married person can«t be accepted into a monastery, right?

— They can be accepted only for some time, to labor in obediences. But anything can happen in life. A widowed priest can take monastic vows. After children grow up, husband and wife by mutual consent can divorce and go to monasteries. So, I don«t rule it out; it»s all God«s will.

How is the study at the theological school, similar lectures to regular ones?

— Roughly the same, but with more emphasis on obedience. Each had their own: some read on the choir, some served as sextons, there was cleaning the grounds, etc. But it was always done with joy. Of course, sometimes it«s hard to get up in the morning and you»re lazy to go to obedience, but when you start, a special joy comes. As the holy fathers say: obedience is higher than fasting and prayer. When you clearly perform obedience, even if you disagree with it, the Lord rewards you for it.

Do you remember the day of your ordination? What feelings did you have then?

— I felt the grace from the Lord that rested upon me. A lightness came, as if freedom from something, from sins, from passions. I felt both joy and love. This closeness to God gives the sensation that the Heavenly Father loves as no one on earth can.

Before ordination, I constantly had thoughts, turmoil: where to go work, how it will be — many different thoughts. And after ordination, understanding came.

Is it true that ordination is an indelible seal and there are no former priests?

— Yes. Because at ordination, special gifts of the Holy Spirit are given, special grace for performing sacraments. Even if a priest is suspended or even defrocked, the grace is not taken away; it remains. A priest can outwardly become a layman and work a regular job, but the seal remains on him, and it«s felt that he is not an ordinary person. Once I met such a person in Chita. We were doing work together in the diocese; I felt grace but couldn»t understand why. I didn«t know he was a former priest; I thought he was just a good, kind person.

If you realize this seal, is the decision to be ordained harder to make?

— It depends on how you approach it. If you perceive it not as a job but precisely as a service entrusted to you by God, then there is no fear. Let it be for life, I won«t retire and will serve as long as I can move and speak.

You serve in a church in the very center of Chita. How does geography and history imprint on you?

— I always think that this church was originally built in 1907 as a missionary school with a house church. Built by the efforts of Hieromartyr Yefrem of Selenginsk, who is now canonized as a saint.

By our bishop Dmitry in 2004, an Orthodox gymnasium was created here. I feel a certain help, apparently through the prayers of Hieromartyr Yefrem of Selenginsk and Saint Innokenty of Irkutsk, who are the patrons of the church and gymnasium.

I feel that the orientation of our church is precisely missionary. It is within these walls that I, as a priest, manage to bring more people to God than in any other place.

The Lord said: «Do not worry about what to say, for the Holy Spirit will speak for you.» At the beginning of my priestly service, sermons were difficult for me. Even if I prepared diligently, I«d go out to people — and my memory was blank. So, I stopped relying on myself and memorizing. I»d read and pray before going out: «Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall declare Your praise.» And the sermon would come, with the Lord putting into my head what people needed to hear. It even happened that I delivered a sermon, and what I said — I didn«t even know it. So, the Lord lets Himself be felt, to see His help and fatherly hand.

To whom in the church is it preferable to address prayers?

— It«s wrong to treat saints like medicines: this one for the head, that one for the stomach. Saints help in any case. It»s just customary that, for example, Matrona of Moscow was blind during her life, so people pray to her for eye diseases. And Saint Sergius of Radonezh — the patron of students, because he struggled with studies until he asked an elder to pray for him. But you can address saints with any prayer.

With God, we need to ask forgiveness for our sins — voluntary and involuntary. A believing person accepts his life as given. Everything that is given is from God, so both sorrows and illnesses are for joy. As soon as a person strengthens in faith, he understands this, and all bad things go away. If you focus on problems, that«s what the demon wants — he starts adding fuel to the fire and creating problems.

Is fear also from lack of faith?

— Yes. How can a person be afraid if he knows that his loving father is the almighty God who even raises the dead. Can«t He save me from trouble? Fear also arises when the soul before God, let»s say, is not quite pure. The soul fears to appear before God in such a state. And when a person is pure, he fears nothing, not even death.

You often communicate with children in the gymnasium. Have you compared your generation with theirs, and what conclusions did you reach?

— I lived in a village; we grew up on the street, were friendly, constantly played lapta (a Russian bat-and-ball game), football, went to the river and forest. This united us, fostering mutual aid. Of course, there were quarrels and even fights, but the Lord kept me from them. Now children, unfortunately, live in a different world, a virtual one. Of course, not all, but the clear majority.

It all depends on parents who hand over a smartphone in early childhood. They do it for various reasons — to please or to get rid of the child, so he doesn«t disturb them after work. Unfortunately, this is a big mistake by parents. Often, mothers come to me complaining about a teenager who can no longer live without a phone, without the internet, doesn»t need studies, doesn«t care about parents» words. There have even been cases where the phone was taken away, and the child grabbed a knife or tried to jump out of a window.

What can be done? Pray. Don«t distance yourself, but participate in the child»s life, learn about his affairs and problems. If a child shares worries, he will feel support. Sometimes it«s the opposite: they constantly yell at the child, might slap him. This leads to the child fearing punishment, starting to lie, and getting used to falsehood. Later, in adult life, he lies even in small things, although everyone sees it and forms an opinion about him. Sin turns into a passion, which is very hard to get rid of.

So, you need to treat a child with love. Even if you«re angry, you need to calm down first, then talk to the child. During yelling, a wall rises between us. The child will hide behind it every time and won»t correct his misdeeds.

Of course, parents must be an example for their children. If parents say: «Don»t do this, don«t act like that,» but do it themselves, the child will follow the example. After all, the apple doesn«t fall far from the tree. If we want to raise children worthily, we need to work on ourselves, correct ourselves.

What does the sacrament of baptism fully mean for a person? Is it just a symbol or something more?

— It«s much more. Baptism is birth into a new life. In baptism, a person is freed from sins and becomes a Christian. Who is a Christian? It»s a person who should strive to live as Jesus Christ taught.

Now, the sacrament of chrismation is performed together with baptism, which gives special gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Before the sacrament, people often find it hard to understand where to do a good deed, when to act rightly. And when grace is given, the Lord and the given guardian angel help make the right choice in actions, deeds, decisions.

What requirements should an adult person wishing to be baptized meet?

— First of all, unconditional faith in the Lord. Not just in words: «I know that somewhere out there God is in the sky,» but confirmation by one«s life, deeds.

Now before baptism, a catechetical talk is held for about three days — sometimes more, sometimes even less. But people don«t want to go because some want to get baptized quickly and move on with life. In this case, the person doesn»t realize why he«s being baptized. But you need to at least learn a little about your faith, understand what responsibility you»re taking on, what grace from God will be given. To have an understanding, can I be a Christian or not.

Previously, catechesis lasted three years. A person participated in church life, attended every service, only couldn«t participate in sacraments. After three years, a decision was made, and only then was the sacrament performed. If not ready, then keep working and preparing.

Have you heard complaints about no time for talks before baptizing children? But also heard the formulation that time is the only thing we can sacrifice to God. How true is that?

— Actually, if you think about it, indeed, we can give God our personal time. What is love? Love is sacrifice, and if we love God, fulfilling the commandment, we must sacrifice something. And what can we sacrifice? Our personal time, which we could spend on rest or entertainment.

Parents also need to attend talks before baptizing children, especially if they are not church-goers. They need to know where they are giving their child. Both parents and godparents bear special responsibility before God. You need to be an example, change yourself, become a Christian, to teach the child faith, spiritual foundations, participate together in services.

Talks are the least that is required. Ideally, you need to know a lot. A person who knows his faith and knows how to use it will be happy.

Immersion in an ice-hole on Epiphany has become mass and is considered almost miraculous. How does the church view this tradition?

— Swimming in an ice-hole is indeed just a good tradition. It«s not some sacrament, not a sacred rite. We Russians love either to steam in a banya to exhaustion or to dive into an ice-hole.

However, what a person believes in, that he receives. If a person believes that swimming will give him something spiritually or help get rid of sin, then according to his faith, the Lord will help him. But if you dive just for some boasting, vanity, and even drink heavily beforehand, nothing good will come of it.

What«s the difference between blessing water in church according to the rite of great blessing and in a Jordan (ice-hole) — do different sanctities result?

— If a priest blessed the ice-hole, the water will have the same power as that blessed in church. It«s only important that it»s clean, not swamp sludge. You can collect it and use it.

Many strive to get water in church precisely on January 19. How important is this day?

— Epiphany water has special power; it«s also called the Great Agiasma. On this day, Jesus Christ was baptized, and with His pure body, entering the Jordan River, He sanctified all waters. By the way, since then, on Epiphany, the Jordan flows backwards. That»s why people strive to come to church.

What«s the difference in water? I think, special grace, precisely because on this day God Himself was baptized. Throughout the year, a minor blessing of water is performed in church. You can»t say it has less grace; that would be wrong. But from Epiphany water, a special grace is felt.

How to properly use Epiphany water in daily life and what absolutely cannot be done with it?

— You can drink it, but with reverence, recommended on an empty stomach, with any prayer, read the «Our Father» or just: «Lord, bless» — and cross yourself. You can wash with it, but not pour it down the drain; moisten hands, face. Similarly, wash children. Some add holy water to food — that«s not forbidden. The main thing is with faith. You can moisten sore spots, sprinkle the house even every day, but again with prayer. The best, I think, for this is »Let God arise.«

Holy water cannot be used in non-church rituals. Often various grandmothers, psychics, healers use it, but they invoke demonic force, committing blasphemy, desecration of the shrine. Actually, the gift from God is given to those who live holy, but to one living in sins and unwilling to correct — only from the demon. Yes, it happens that healers help at first, but after some time, it becomes much worse.

On Epiphany, I«d like to wish everyone sincere and unfeigned faith in God. Especially those baptized, I wish to know your faith and know how to use it. And then there will be God»s help in all affairs, and then there will be happiness. You can«t get this happiness anywhere else or buy it for any money. I wish everyone salvation, to achieve the goal of Christian life, the heavenly kingdom. And also here, on earth, to feel, to sense paradise. It»s possible.