Proctologist Shares Strangest Finds From Inside Patients
What do deodorant cans, enema nozzles, stationery, fruits and vegetables, sex shop products, light bulbs, and billiard balls have in common? Specialists are forced to extract all these from patients who claim they «fell in accidentally.» One of Volgograd«s most experienced proctologists explained why every third such patient is elderly, what excuses he has to listen to, and when it»s necessary to urgently call a surgeon.
«Every Third Patient is a Retiree with an Enema»
As the doctor told V1.RU, common jokes about objects stuck inside a person are often far from reality. For example, he doesn«t see a cucumber as often as a completely different item. And no one has ever given him a rose in that manner.
«Such patients come to us in two ways: either they come on their own, or they are brought by ambulance,» the doctor stated immediately. «Fortunately, emergency cases are not frequent, especially since they are rarely ordinary. And a third of the patients are ordinary grandmothers and grandfathers who were giving enemas and accidentally dropped the nozzle.»
According to the proctologist, on his table, it«s not only clumsy elderly victims of medical procedures that end up much more often. And he has to hear many variants of explanations from patients.
«In the past, we very often heard from patients that »someone forcibly inserted it« or »they were forced.« Much less common were excuses like »I was massaging the prostate,«» shares the surgical proctologist. «At one time, drug addicts were brought to us, who presented themselves as »just drunk.« They preferred to justify themselves with problems with their head, for some reason, because of which they can»t stop putting everything into themselves. But lately, patients prefer to tell the truth. Apparently, everyone has already come to the conclusion that hiding something from the doctor is pointless.«
As the specialist tells, patients who come to him for emergency appointments often demonstrate great imagination in using household items for unintended purposes.
«In fact, you find all sorts of things there. Very often, we have to retrieve deodorant cans, and of all different shapes and sizes. Often, dildos break and go deep inside, especially those that are not equipped with a large knob or a loop of string to pull them back out. They even invent homemade toys. By the way, this is also a big rarity now. Apparently, money has appeared, and with marketplaces, there»s no need to be ingenious in buying such things,« the doctor lists. »All sorts of sticks, cucumbers, and carrots patients constantly lose irreversibly. For themselves, naturally... We«ve even retrieved billiard balls several times. But in these cases, we already had to call traumatologists, because they didn»t just «go into the pocket» anymore.«
The proctologist reminds: one shouldn«t fear and be ashamed of doctors. On the contrary, it»s better to turn to specialists as early as possible, not waiting until unbearable pain comes, or even something worse.
«The worst thing for the body is when there are screwdrivers, forks, or spoons inside, which creates a risk of serious injuries,» the doctor says. «And if before turning to the doctor, the patient also delays for a long time, embarrassed by their problem, then it ends with a major operation. By that time, there»s no other way to retrieve the object. And if you don«t go to the doctor for a long time, then easily a chain of unbearable pain, necrosis, perforation, peritonitis, and death begins.»
