Saving Domestic Violence Victims in Ryazan: Chilling Stories

In every tenth family, conflicts escalate to physical violence, and women admit to it much more often than men. There are also those who believe: «You can forgive once.» These are not just words. These are official data from the Russian Public Opinion Research Center (VCIOM) from September 2025.

Specifically for Ryazan Oblast, there is no public statistics on domestic violence. But there are many such women, and some of them find the strength to seek help from a crisis center.

How it works, who seeks help, and why not all victims of domestic violence are ready to go there — in the material from YA62.RU.

The «Angel» crisis center provides assistance not only to victims of domestic violence but also to single mothers, large families, and families in difficult life situations.

«There Are Husbands Who Are Not Quite Sane»

The other day, the «Angel» women«s support crisis center marked five years since its opening. It is run by Irina Khabarova — for her, it is a labor of love, while her main source of income is her primary business — she builds low-rise houses.

«Before us [the crisis center], there was a legal office here, just empty walls. And I received a proposal from the public movement »For Women«s Rights,» I am a regional representative. The idea was simple and very important: to create a place in Ryazan where any woman or family in a difficult life situation could find not just help, but understanding, support, and a real way out,« Irina says.

Women receive free consultations from a psychologist and a lawyer, and until recently, a social shelter operated here permanently. The shelter could accommodate women from Ryazan who had no housing, or those who had left a tyrannical husband and had nowhere else to turn.

But, according to Irina Khabarova, permanent residence in the social shelter becomes very costly.

«Until recently, the girls lived there, and that»s it. Because it«s very expensive, we can»t cover the maintenance with our own money. We need to feed everyone, pay, and organize leisure activities. There are also husbands who are not quite sane, who break down doors. The women themselves, perhaps out of guilt, call them and tell them where they are, and then madness ensues,« Irina says.

Currently, the crisis center provides psychological, legal, and humanitarian assistance. For example, baby strollers, cribs, new clothes, and sometimes food.

Tatyana Perova, a psychologist at the «Angel» crisis center and a Candidate of Pedagogical Sciences, says that the center«s clients are mainly women who want a divorce or are already in the process of dissolving their marriage. But not all victims of domestic tyrants can decide to take this step.

«I Was Beaten, and I Beat»

Tatyana Perova knows firsthand about working with victims of domestic violence. Some women, despite beatings, continue to believe for the better and come with their husbands.

«First, the man left the family, and now he has returned. In the conversation, I ask about the family model and values. And he answers: »I was beaten, and I beat — that«s my family model.» And he has no embarrassment, even though he is saying this to a stranger,« Perova recalls.

Another case from practice — a woman constantly left her drinking husband but returned. Later, at the crisis center, she said honestly: «I feel sorry for him. I know he»ll drink now, I«m bringing him lunch. I»m not filing for alimony, how will he pay?«

And at the same time, the woman left the apartment bought with maternity capital, while she and her children lived in rented housing. In the end, the heroine continues to work to pay the rent and does not file for alimony.

Another situation from Ryazan — another girl married an alcoholic only to escape her parents: «My father beats my mother, I decided to run away from there.» In the future, she chose a husband just like him.

Moreover, before living together, according to Tatyana Perova, she did not notice any signs of alcohol dependence. But even after that, she did not leave.

«She said that when they started living together, he started drinking, partying, and beating her. I asked why she didn»t leave. The girl answered: «I thought I would save him.» Many women who have been subjected to violence have one problem — they don«t know how to leave a place where they are treated badly, and they try to save someone,» explained Tatyana Perova.

«The Emotional Rollercoaster Is a Secondary Story»

Many women are afraid to leave unhealthy relationships due to an internal fear of being happy without a man who physically harms her, says the psychologist.

«Women, as a rule, are afraid to be alone. They are afraid that after they leave, they will never be happy again. They cling to this like a last straw. The emotional rollercoaster is a secondary story,» believes Tatyana Perova.

According to the psychologist, during the honeymoon period, a domestic tyrant may still seem good and caring, but then the mask will inevitably fall. Usually, this happens as soon as the couple starts living together.

But the scariest thing — violence is not always physical. Sometimes men destroy women morally in the same way. For example, they demand a receipt for every small purchase, limit meetings, or exercise total control. By these signs, unhealthy relationships can be seen.

If your acquaintance finds herself in such a situation, help is possible only in one case — if she herself wants it.

«A girl may realize that the person is causing not only physical but also emotional pain. She may come and say: »Yes, I experience fear, I can«t leave a place where I am treated badly because I feel unprotected, I have no safety net.» In such a case, the person is definitely ready to go towards their own salvation.

But when it ends with a conversation in the kitchen, where they first ask for help, and then say that the person has changed… You will not save this person. The most offensive thing — you will feel guilty that you didn«t help,» noted Tatyana Perova.

It is important that women not only undergo therapy but also leave the person who is abusing them — such situations without exception end positively. If girls work with a psychologist but stay, everything will become tied to emotions — they will believe the abuser and either return to him or leave hoping for a better life. In the second case, the outcome is not always good.

If a woman does decide to seek help and change her life, a psychotherapy session can be long. Some go to a psychologist for years to avoid falling for manipulations and learn to value themselves, while for others, about ten sessions are enough. It is individual and depends on the girl«s psyche.

The vast majority of girls who turned to the crisis center successfully left unhealthy relationships and became happy.

You can contact the «Angel» crisis center in Ryazan in several ways:

• by phone — 8 (800) 700-22-20;

• by email — kriziscentr_ryazan@mail.ru;

• write to social media — https://vk.com/club204172284;

• come in person — Ryazan, Molodyozhnaya Street, building 11.

All assistance to women is provided completely free of charge.