Sochi Women Struggle with Marriage in Resort City

Sochi is not only Russia«s main resort but also the capital of holiday romances. Thousands of Russians of both sexes come to the seaside city for a romantic vacation. And they always find like-minded people. But it turns out that finding true love in this coastal city is difficult, especially for local women. Here are several stories of successful women who achieved everything they strived for on their own but still haven»t found simple human happiness.

«Accustomed to Watching Others Vacation»

Natalia Z. moved to Sochi as a schoolgirl after her mother divorced her father and decided to start a new life by the sea. In the resort town, she finished school and college. Then came the question of returning to her native Omsk. Her mother never settled in Sochi; she started several businesses but each time failed, and there was no money to rent an apartment. Her mother left, but Natalia stayed — a grown girl. At that time, she was dating a local guy. He suggested they live together: he had a three-room apartment in Adler. Never mind that she had to share it with his parents. At first, they treated her like a «transplant» — that is, a bit condescendingly — but later they accepted it.

— «My mother-in-law always pretended not to understand where I came from: «You»re from Tomsk? Or Irkutsk?« She flaunted her importance. But later things seemed to improve, especially after we got married and had a child. But with my husband, on the contrary, everything got worse. I advise all girls: never live with locals. They don»t strive for anything. They are used to watching others vacation, and from childhood they themselves are always on vacation,» — Natalia says.

Over five years of living together, her husband worked only a few months; he had no education beyond 11th grade. He never stayed long at low-paying jobs and constantly complained that he was not appreciated.

— «A person lives like grass in a field. He sleeps half the day, then goes to his friends. They are exactly the same — adult men drinking beer on benches, while at home their families and children survive as best they can. He comes home completely drunk in the early morning, and the main thing is, he likes this life and has no intention of changing anything. While I lived with him, I got a higher education in tourism and started working for a travel company. As soon as I started earning, I packed my things, took my child, and left,» — Natalia says.

She admits that her husband did not even immediately notice that his son and wife were gone. Her mother-in-law was upset and called her back, but she did not want to support a healthy man again.

— «My father helped me get a mortgage. I live and work, my son is already in the second grade, and no one is lying on the couch. My ex-husband, by the way, is getting divorced for the third time. And I still haven«t met my love. I mostly come across losers who need a woman with housing. Interestingly, all my friends have successfully built their careers, have apartments and cars, but no husbands. Only a few have managed to get married successfully,» — Natalia concluded.

«Mama«s Little Prince»

Angela K. moved to Sochi from Rostov Oblast at 18. Now she is 28 and divorced. A long-legged blonde with trendy lips, hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes. She has to keep up appearances — she works in the beauty industry. She is a manicurist, which allowed her to survive alone in the resort city. Angela has no one to rely on, and her husband didn«t work out. He struggled with money; he worked as a bellboy at an expensive hotel, i.e., a baggage porter, but his ambitions were no less than those of a general director. He took out his instability and dissatisfaction on his young wife.

— «The more he whined, the more I worked. I filed from morning till morning so he wouldn«t worry about lack of money. He didn»t want to get a higher education, even though he could through the hotel. But being a gofer was humiliating for him. On weekends, he would lie on the bed, stare at one spot, go to a psychologist, to the gym, and to church. And I was filing — not him, but nails. But this killjoy was still unsatisfied with something. Then he quit his job because the psychologist advised it. And I had to work and keep up with housework, because he«s a man, he should have his clothes washed and be fed,» — the girl says.

Angela would come home and collapse to sleep for a few hours. He would go to his mother and complain about his wife, and his mother-in-law would call and lecture her that her dear little son had lost 2 kilograms. The girl endured and endured, but then couldn«t take it anymore, especially since recently she had been renting an apartment at her own expense. One fine day, she packed her things and moved out, living in her manicure studio for several days, then rented an apartment. All this time, her husband, who very quickly became her ex, called and begged her to come back. He sincerely did not understand how anyone could leave such a wonderful, handsome, and non-drinking man. Several years have passed since then, and the girl has no plans to get married. She has suitors, of course, many, but it»s not the same.

«As Soon as I Paid Off the Loan, He Filed for Divorce»

A native Sochi resident, Elena G., got burned by a «macho» from the Urals. Her first husband was local, from a large Armenian family, but he died in a terrible car accident in Abkhazia. Elena was left alone with a small child, a widow at 24. She lived that way until she was 30, when she met Andrei. He moved to Sochi from Yekaterinburg, worked on construction sites, but brought almost no money home. Although he himself drove an expensive foreign car and dressed in expensive stores, the family got pennies. Even for their shared son. He often went to his homeland to visit his «sick mother,» never taking his wife with him.

— «It turns out he had another family in Yekaterinburg, where two girls were growing up. The most interesting thing is that he was divorced and married me. He persuaded me to sell my apartment, take out a mortgage in my name, naturally, and buy a larger property. Which we did. And this apartment was purchased during the marriage, so it is divided upon divorce. As soon as I paid off the loan, he filed for divorce and property division,» — Elena says.

They went to court for a long and scandalous time; the woman even ended up in the hospital with a neurosis. But the man did not give up, pushed through to the end, and still divided the apartment. Moreover, he managed to transfer the case to a court in his place of registration — in Yekaterinburg. The woman physically could not travel there for court hearings; she had to hire a lawyer and pay him a lot of money. Now Andrei lives in Sochi with another family, and does not want to see their common son. He pays alimony regularly, but it«s peanuts — his official salary as a security guard does not exceed 40,000 rubles (about $444 at current rates). Elena says she will definitely not get married again. She still hasn»t recovered.

Of course, we should not generalize. In Sochi, as in any other city, there are plenty of examples of happy families. Naturally, there are wonderful men, but there are many more wonderful women. They support families, are successful, take care of themselves, and most importantly — are self-sufficient. Maybe the men will catch up.