Nigerian heir rejects title
Afam Ezeugo has been married for 15 years and refuses to leave his wife.
Men willing to give up everything for the woman they love are found not only in fairy tales and legends, but in real life. One of them is hereditary chief Afam Ezeugo. He is 55 and has spent almost his entire life in Russia. He traded life in a large family home, honor and fame at home, for work as a bartender in Moscow Oblast (Moscow region). His shifts last 12 hours, his pay is modest and promotion prospects are nil, but Afam is prepared to endure all privations for his partner. Yet even that proved insufficient: his partner’s family does not accept him, and if the Nigerian heir returns home the children will go with him while his chosen wife would be left with nothing.
«My father — a wise chief»
Afam Ezeugo was born among the Igbo people in Nigeria. His father, the powerful chief Edmund Ogbuagu Ezeugo, hoped that when his eldest son grew up he would take the reins of leadership. However, Afam did not want to spend his whole life in one place and become mired in his tribe’s problems — he wanted to see the world.
Afam has six younger siblings and responsibility for them fell to him after his father’s death.
At 19 Afam applied to Mogilev Construction College (Mogilev, now Belarus) and prepared to travel to the Soviet Union. His father did not object. He hoped his son would get an education and return home to improve life for the tribe, but Afam stayed much longer than planned.
After finishing college he enrolled in a transport university and later stayed on as a construction engineer. He lived modestly. He did not tell classmates or colleagues that back home he owned a large house, land and a fortune worth millions. From childhood Afam had seen that his father never flaunted his wealth, and he adopted the same habit.
— «My father is not like ordinary kings in palaces. He is a wise chief,» Afam says proudly on «Pust’ govoryat» (Let Them Talk).
Afam could not work long in his trained profession. Working outdoors in freezing cold, rain and wind undermined his health, which was not used to such conditions. He scraped by with odd jobs until in 2013 he began working as a hotel bartender. The job did not bring a large income, but Afam liked it and did not want to give it up. Love was another reason he stayed in Russia.
«When we met, I did not know about his titles»
Afam heard about Larisa Bystrykh from a mutual acquaintance. During one conversation the acquaintance mentioned he had a friend at an African embassy who worked in insurance. Ezeugo became interested and asked for her number to get to know her better.
— «On our first date we met near a shopping mall, and then Afam invited me to his home. I agreed without much thought because he said he had “sauce.” “Sauce” is a Nigerian dish eaten with semolina. Since I really love those dishes, I agreed,» Larisa recalled.
Afam invited none of his family members to his wedding.
After their first meeting there was a second and a third; the couple got to know one another more and more, but Afam did not abandon his principles. He told Larisa that his father was a chief, but remained silent about his multimillion inheritance. She paid little heed — here he was an ordinary man who did not spoil her with expensive gifts or restaurant outings, he simply loved her.
— «He suits me as he is. When we met I did not know what titles he had,» Larisa admits.
Afam dreamed of proposing to Larisa and building a family, but she hesitated for a long time. She already had a failed marriage behind her and feared this relationship might not last either. Only after four years together did she agree to become his wife.
The newlyweds moved in with Larisa’s father in a four‑room apartment he had once been given for work at a poultry farm. For the first four years the family lived peacefully under one roof — Afam obtained citizenship and worked 12‑hour days for his family.
Problems emerged after the couple had children — first two boys, Eloka and Emeka, and then a girl, Princess‑Naomi. There were more mouths to feed, but the salary, which — according to Larisa’s father — barely reaches the subsistence minimum, did not increase.
— «To me a man is not just someone who fathers children, but someone who provides for his family. The impression is that he is neither fish nor fowl,» fumes the father‑in‑law.
The couple appeared on a national talk show to seek support and mediation.
Living under one roof grew increasingly difficult. The father did not understand why Afam would not take another job, find a second one or take out a mortgage to move out and live with his own family. Afam, however, cannot do that while he lacks a propiska (residence registration). One quarrel ended with the couple and their children having to leave the apartment and rent a two‑room flat where they now live — but the move only further divided the family.
«He must return to his homeland»
Now Afam, his wife and children are squeezed into a two‑room apartment. Larisa is demanding that her father register her husband at the address or split the property so they can have a down payment for a mortgage, but he refuses. He believes his son‑in‑law is not a suitable match for his daughter and does not take sufficient care of the children.
— «A man comes home and goes to bed. You have two boys — who will raise them to be real men?» asks Larisa’s father.
Back in Afam’s homeland they were also slow to offer financial help. In 2018, after the chief’s death, the family expected Ezeugo to return and take responsibility for his family and the tribe, but he was adamant that he would not.
— «When my father died, I said I did not want to be a chief,» Afam said.
Producers offered practical assistance, including job search help and mortgage options, to the family.
Now his sisters are unwilling to hand the multimillion fortune over to their brother. They propose only one solution to the problem.
— «We love Larisa, she has visited us, but her family does not accept our elder brother. In that case she should let him go and allow him to return to his homeland. There he can marry whoever he wishes and may have as many wives as he wants,» Afam’s sisters suggest.
Larisa admits that even before marriage she knew that, by her husband’s country’s rules, children belong to the father, but she did not think things could ever become so serious.
On the program «Pust’ govoryat» (Let Them Talk), the couple were offered to move to a cheaper region — Larisa refused, citing that she has work and a client base in Moscow Oblast (Moscow region) — she works part‑time as a neuropsychologist, and the children have school, friends and extracurricular activities. In response, they were promised help finding Afam a different job with higher income and arranging a mortgage for large families.
