«The feeling that life has just begun». Stories of women from Tyumen who gave birth at 40

Women who decided to have a child at 40 or older were previously labeled with a rather offensive word — «elderly primigravida». It’s funny that this status from others could be obtained much earlier — at 27, or even 25.

Nowadays, births at 40, 45, and even 50 are not so rare. Medicine has moved forward, and we see women making this step without much fear. Or is it still scary? We gathered three real stories from women in Tyumen who became mothers at 40.

Olga, gave birth at 39

For ten years, we couldn’t conceive a second child. A doctor suggested a course of pills to help with pregnancy, but I didn’t take them. I didn’t believe in miracles. My daughter had just started university, and I decided: I’ll wait for grandchildren.

Since I couldn«t get pregnant, I got a dog, and two months later I found out I was going to be a mother again. It was a shock, but a pleasant one. The gynecologist joked that after getting the dog, my maternal instinct awoke — similar to women who adopt children and then get pregnant themselves.

I was monitored at a private clinic, so the doctors’ attitude was, of course, good. Although I won’t generalize — at the state clinic everything was good too. However, a conflict arose with the geneticist. She didn’t like my test results, even though the screening was fine.

I was supposed to have an amniocentesis for additional analysis, but I refused, to which I was told: «You’re planning to give birth to a disabled child on purpose, to get money!» Later I learned: to take such tests, I had to prepare in advance and avoid certain foods.

After hearing a lot about birth injuries and that the child could be born sick, I requested a C-section. I later regretted it very much because the scar hurt for a long time. But my son is already 12. The dog, by the way, became a real helper for me. I’ve seen many people give away their pets after having children. I don’t understand how that’s possible.

And it wasn’t hard at all for me to run after a toddler! Having a child at forty and older — it’s like a big incentive in life. He’s in sixth grade, and I participate in all his school events, which can’t be said for many younger moms.

There was a period in my life when my daughter grew up, and my mom wasn’t as needed. Sometimes I felt down, like I wasn’t needed by anyone, my husband was constantly away at work. With the arrival of a child at a later age, a different mood appears! Many may say you should live for yourself, but I don’t know how to do that. I became much more active and started taking care of my health.

Irina (name changed), gave birth at 40

For me, this was my third pregnancy. When I found out, I was in shock — it was April 1st, by the way! Denial, bargaining, acceptance. But the thought of terminating the pregnancy never crossed my mind. My husband was very supportive and overjoyed!

I was monitored at the perinatal center on Daudelnaya Street and gave birth there. I’m very pleased with the doctor and midwife who attended to me. And the whole team was just excellent. I had a C-section, and in the operating room they joked, distracted me, acted naturally, and did everything so I wouldn’t be afraid. Everything went perfectly.

But I must admit — enduring pregnancy and a C-section at 40 is not the same as at 30. I spent nine hours in recovery before I could even start to move.

Then I stayed in a paid room with a shower, toilet, kettle, and refrigerator. After a C-section, that’s not a luxury but a necessity. The cost per day was 3,000 rubles (approx. $33 at current rates). But visits were allowed there, my husband stayed overnight and helped.

A daughter was born, and we are all doing great! Over the moon. Much of it is thanks to the doctors.

Thank God that at 40 we can still afford a third child, with the oldest being 15 and the middle one 10, both studying English, sports, and music, and the oldest also preparing for exams.

Natalia, gave birth at 40

At 40, I became a mother for the third time. I had my first at 22, the second — at 26. The third pregnancy was a surprise for me. I wasn’t worried about my age — I felt young and healthy. I was more anxious about my daughters, who were then 18 and 13, a big age gap.

But my husband supported me without hesitation. My gynecologist said the same thing, that everything would be fine. But other doctors, when registering me, pressed with the question: «Natalia, how did you decide? Age is age, after all».

Of course, I received special attention, I was in a risk category — both due to age and because a lot of time had passed since my last births. But in the maternity hospital, I felt on equal footing with everyone, no one even guessed I was 40. The birth went calmly. A boy was born, he’s now a year and a half old and already goes to kindergarten.

I believe you shouldn’t listen to anyone if you get pregnant — only yourself and your heart. Now there are many opportunities for raising and developing a child, many services that help.

Moreover, after giving birth I felt even more strength, a surge of energy. It feels like life has just begun. Age didn’t affect me at all. On the contrary, at 40 you feel more self-sufficient.

Earlier we shared three stories of women from Tyumen who underwent IVF and successfully gave birth. It’s not always easy — multiple attempts are required, which sometimes puts emotional pressure on women.