Proctologist tells of strangest findings inside patients' bodies
Some cases require intervention from several specialists and general anesthesia.
What can unite deodorant, an enema tip, stationery, produce from fields and gardens, products from a sex shop, a light bulb, and a billiard ball? All these are what narrow-specialty doctors have to extract from «accidentally fallen» patients. About why every third such patient is of advanced age, what explanations they have to listen to, and when to urgently call a surgeon, told one of the most experienced proctologists, who was interviewed by our colleagues from V1.RU.
Not every patient arrives with an item that the doctor would want to keep in a professional collection.
«Every Third is a Pensioner with an Enema»
Not every patient is pleased to hear «come again» from specialists of this kind.
As the doctor told, common jokes about objects stuck inside a person are often far from reality. For example, he doesn«t see a cucumber as often as a completely different item. And a rose has never been gifted to him in such a way.
Fear of ridicule and shame quickly change to unbearable discomfort and severe pain.
«Such patients come to us in two ways: either they come themselves, or they are brought by ambulance,» the doctor immediately stated. «Fortunately, operative cases are not frequent, especially since they rarely turn out to be ordinary. And a third of patients are ordinary grandmothers and grandfathers who were giving enemas and accidentally dropped the tip.»
According to the proctologist, on his table, not only clumsy elderly victims of medical procedures end up much more often. And he has to listen to many variants of explanations from patients.
«Earlier, very often from patients, we had to hear that »someone forcibly inserted it« or »they were forced.« Much rarer were excuses in the spirit of »I was massaging the prostate,«» shares the operative proctologist. «At one time, drug addicts were brought to us, who introduced themselves as »just drunk.« They preferred to justify themselves somehow with head problems, due to which they couldn»t stop inserting everything into themselves. But lately, patients prefer to tell the truth. Apparently, everyone has already come to the conclusion that hiding something from the doctor is pointless.«
As the narrow-specialty specialist tells, patients who come to him for emergency appointments often demonstrate great imagination in using household items for unintended purposes.
«Actually, what doesn»t end up there. Very often we have to retrieve deodorant cans, of the most various shapes and sizes. Often, dildos break and go deep, especially those not equipped with a large knob or a loop of string by which they can be pulled back out. They even invent homemade toys. Now, by the way, this is also already a big rarity. Apparently, money appeared, and with marketplaces, there«s no need to be ingenious in buying such things,» lists the doctor. «All sorts of sticks, cucumbers, and carrots patients constantly drop irretrievably. For themselves, naturally... Even billiard balls were retrieved several times. But in these cases, we already had to call traumatologists, because they didn»t pass «into the pocket» so simply anymore.«
The proctologist reminds: one should not fear and be ashamed of doctors. On the contrary, it«s better to turn to narrow-specialty specialists as early as possible, not waiting until unbearable pain comes, or even something worse.
«The worst thing for the body is when there are some screwdrivers, forks, or spoons inside, which creates a risk of serious injuries,» the doctor tells. «And if before turning to the doctor, the patient also procrastinates for a long time, embarrassed by their problem, then the matter ends with a major operation. By this time, there is no other way to retrieve the object. And if you don»t go to the doctor for a long time, then a chain of unbearable pain, necrosis, perforation, peritonitis, and death easily begins.«
