Novosibirsk Residents Clash Over Views on Toxic Parenting

Sometimes thoughtlessly thrown words can hurt so deeply that the resentment lasts for years. Especially if those words come from loved ones. NGS published an article about maternal shaming towards children. A psychologist explained the possible consequences of such «care,» and readers sparked a lively discussion in the comments — here are the most striking opinions.

«The examples described here are simply adorable. These are trivial matters. I wish I had such childish grievances,» writes a reader. — «My friends, you simply grew up in greenhouse conditions, you have no idea what real childhood grievances are, if you suffered over such nonsense. And it»s good that it«s so.»

«It has become fashionable to blame parents,» notes a Siberian woman. — «There was all sorts. Children and teenagers are not sugar in character. On the contrary, in adulthood comes understanding of what it cost to raise us in the »90s. Thanks to the parents: they fed us, clothed us, educated us.«

«Better tell how psychologists are destroying relationships between parents and adult children. Adult 40-year-old women come to these specialists — and what? Let»s start from childhood. And immediately the guilty ones are appointed. Wonderful specialists,« comments a city resident.

Another reader emphasizes that everyone makes mistakes and learns to accept them with age.

«I have many grievances against my mother from childhood that somehow affected my self-perception, but now I understand that I won»t present them. She herself grew up in such a family, and she had no other example. She didn«t assume that one could live differently. What»s the point of airing this laundry now?« — she writes.

«Toxic parents — unfortunately, a common phenomenon. And they cause immense harm to the child. Problems are almost guaranteed if you get a little brother or sister,» contributes a guest.

Another reader reflected on the rivalry between mother and daughter, asserting that it can manifest in intimidating the child.

«Intimidation consists of unconscious tendencies to ridicule, devalue, or even humiliate the daughter, not allow her to look attractive, not allow her to grow up, forbid her from meeting boys,» left a comment by a site reader.

«I think the main thing — a child should have a strong backbone and a loving family. And who scolded, didn»t scold, said something in anger — anything can happen. A child, even if scolded, should feel loved. And raising a delicate flower, on whom you can«t raise your voice or criticize, is hard — such a person will find life difficult. A child should adequately perceive both criticism and upbringing,» writes a reader.

Another reader shared an interesting childhood story:

«I don»t trust anyone because my parents brought out my childhood and teenage experiences for discussion at family gatherings. They called me and announced to everyone: «Imagine, Alena (my real name) is worried about this.» This was all said with a dig. The whole crowd — 20–40 people (many relatives) — laughed merrily at me. How can I trust loved ones here?«

Give NGS readers just a reason to argue about something — so the verdict against former kindergarten employees came under criticism.