Second-Grader Denied Party Entry Over Unpaid Fee
The second-grader sat in the hallway during the party because her mother had not paid the 250-ruble fee.
A pre-New Year«s morning party at one of Volgograd»s gymnasiums ended in a loud scandal. The cause was 250 rubles (about $3 at current rates), due to which the teacher did not allow the schoolgirl to attend the performance because her family forgot to pay them. Officials quickly intervened, identified the culprit, and quieted down, but the war in the class continues to this day.
The mother tried to contact the teacher through a messaging app, but her messages were not answered.
Our colleagues from V1.RU found out how the story ended, how it affected the child, and also asked experts: why a teacher, in principle, could cause such a situation.
Public opinion criticized the teacher for being unfit and for possibly causing psychological harm to the girl.
Alone on the Bench: The Morning Party Where It All Began
The teacher spent the January holidays under stress due to the ongoing conflict.
The morning party where the story began was held on the last Friday of 2025. Between lessons, second-graders were treated to a pre-New Year«s performance: animators from the »Smile« studio were invited in costumes of Ded Moroz (Father Frost) and Snegurochka (the Snow Maiden). According to officials, the school organized it with parental consent, collecting 250 rubles (about $3 at current rates) from each student.
Despite apologizing, the teacher received an official reprimand from the education department.
Attendance was supposedly optional, but money was paid by everyone except the family of eight-year-old Zhenya. As a result, the little girl was not allowed to attend the play and was sent alone to the reading room.
The scandal could have lasting effects on both the teacher and the young student.
«The teacher told her: »If you have money, go to the dining hall; if not, go to the library.« Zhenya went out into the corridor, sat on a sofa, and waited alone until it was all over. She was simply bewildered: she didn»t know what to do at all,« her mother recounted.
Surprisingly, the school environment remains calm, and the children seem unaffected by the dispute.
Zhenya couldn«t go home either: English class was on the schedule, and at the end of the day, the celebration (already with Zhenya»s participation) moved to the school classroom—the children were given a fairy tale quest and received gifts at the school«s expense.
«Mom, why was I punished like this?»: What Outraged the Parent?
Zhenya«s mother learned about the situation from her daughter. The debt was a surprise to the woman: she was sure she had paid the money, which is why she forgot about the collection. The mother was outraged that the teacher did not warn her about the shortfall and instead sent the schoolgirl away.
«She came home and asks: »Mom, why was I punished like this?« I was in shock myself, I thought we had paid. Even if we hadn»t, she could have called me—I would have transferred it or brought it myself, it«s not far to walk to the school.
The family has known the teacher for only six months: she was assigned in September to replace the previous homeroom teacher. Although there have been no conflicts with the teacher during this time, her mother called her difficult.
«It»s hard to connect with her, others have complained about her too. Even when you ask her a simple question, instead of answering, she sends you to the child, like, «all the information is with the children.» And she only sent schedules, money collections, and homework,« says the mother.
She demanded explanations and apologies from the teacher: the teacher allegedly simply ignored her. The next step was the deputy principal: she listened to the mother, promising to look into it. But, suspecting delays and not hoping for repentance, the parent went higher—to the Department of Education and the media.
Teacher Gets a Reprimand, Deputy Principal Gets a Warning
After the media uproar, officials took up the matter. Although the teacher was designated as the culprit, they hinted that the mother could have arranged to pay the fee «retroactively» herself, as others allegedly did. The teacher was given a reprimand, the deputy principal—a warning, and they apologized collectively to the mother. But the apologies weren«t enough for the mother.
«I gave them the condition that they put in writing what measures were taken with the teacher and what punishment was imposed,» the woman said. «What»s the use of apologies if tomorrow she«ll be plotting against me and my daughter behind our backs.»
The majority of the public (judging by a poll by V1.RU) went against the teacher. No one wants teachers to treat their children with such indifference. Some people called the teacher incompetent, while others blamed both sides, designating the child as the victim of the situation. But there were also those who sided with the teacher.
From a selection of opinions on the conflict:
«In old Rus», it was customary to visit, help the poor, and be kinder to each other. And now what? You don«t pay 250 rubles—kick out the child, who is not to blame for anything.»
«Why ruin the holiday for a child? They»re fed up with the freeloading mother, but it«s the little girl who suffers. Ready to strangle themselves over 250 rubles. Simply no words.»
«I»m on the child«s side. It»s a pity that she has such a mother and such a teacher. The teacher could have called the mother the day before, foreseeing that the child would be hurt and upset. And the mother really might have missed the request to pay the money. Everything could have been resolved remotely.«
«It all starts small! First, they forgot to pay 250 rubles, then they came to the graduation party for free, like first they didn»t like the dress, then they didn«t want to go at all, and then they decided to go anyway, but at others» expense (a case from personal experience)! So, dear parents, be respectful first of all to your children, don«t shame them in front of others with your cunning, don»t teach them to freeload from childhood!«
«Those Who Work Are Not Seen»: What Does the Teacher Herself Say?
We cannot name the teacher for anonymity reasons. It is known that she has dedicated over 30 years to teaching children. Both parents and the gymnasium director speak positively of her. However, it was difficult to reach her by phone for a long time. The phone was answered once by her husband, who explained the ignoring as due to stress and subsequent heart problems.
«She»s tired of answering all these calls: from the school, from well-meaning people, and not only. That second-grader«s grandmother summoned her for a meeting, called: »Come! I told you!«—in a rude tone. Who would like that? I»m shaking from all this myself.«
A journalist managed to talk to her at the gymnasium. She admitted that she wants to forget this topic as soon as possible, which is why she gave in in the disputes as soon as they began.
«If your child»s teachers are constantly being harassed, would you like that? Children feel it immediately. How does it happen: we hug, we love each other, everything is fine, and then—a scandal.«
The teacher speaks positively of the second-grader: a diligent girl, a «good student.» With her mother, she says, they hadn«t argued before. She also denies allegations of intentional ignoring.
«No one ignored anyone. But you must also understand that I won»t allow anyone to be rude to me. Would anyone like that? We«re all people, we should talk humanely.»
Some other parents came to the teacher«s defense. They also stated that they had reminded about the collections more than once, including at a meeting, but some dragged it out until the last day. The teacher, however, has no complaints against the family and is ready to continue working.
«We have all kinds of parents. Sometimes they come, shout, argue. In the end, we part amicably. After all, we»re a family with them, and these are our children too—we pull through everything together.«
«Depriving the Girl of the Holiday Is Inappropriate»: Opinion of a Merited Teacher
To analyze the situation, we asked history teacher and Merited Teacher of the Russian Federation Alexander Snegurov. From his experience, he said that preparing holidays for a teacher is a big hustle, which is why they expect reciprocity from parents.
«Organizing holidays is very difficult, and here, of course, one should appreciate the efforts of the teacher who decides to do it and engages in it. They are almost always overloaded, exhausted, and the object of criticism. The teacher»s troubles should be supported by the goodwill of parents: if a minor collection is announced, it«s better to respond without unnecessary disputes, understanding that it»s collected for the children«s needs.»
If someone didn«t pay their share—forgot or took a »stance«—Alexander Snegurov does not advise teachers to dig into their own pockets. But to exclude a child from an event where the student could be allowed without money, he considers unfair on the teacher»s part.
«Depriving the girl of the holiday I consider inappropriate. Especially since it»s not a trip on an excursion bus where everything is allocated by seats. And of course, one should look at the circumstances that prevented paying the money: need, illness, or arrogance, neglect of the school, irritation at a specific teacher. However, I personally would seat such an «unpaid» child on the bus too.«
However, no matter who is right here, escalating the scandal to absurdity, in the opinion of the merited teacher, is not a solution. It will only worsen the situation when willing teachers become fewer each year.
«Although I believe that the child should not have been excluded from the holiday, continuing to torment the teacher is also unwise. Yes, the teacher made a mistake, but try to act for years without slip-ups! What does the mother want to achieve in the end—the teacher»s expulsion from work? The administration can do that, that«s how it»s been. But if such methods are followed, soon there will be no one left in schools, and your children will be dancing at the New Year party with robots or with an animator for completely different money!«
«We Have No Rights, Only Obligations»: What Other Teachers Say
We asked for opinions on the situation from ordinary teachers who wished to remain anonymous. They, of course, unanimously sided with their colleague, explaining their choice with sad experience of interacting with parents.
«What»s outrageous here is the mother«s irresponsibility. If she didn»t want to pay the money, she could have warned the teacher in advance. The animators, moreover, were surely not invited by the teacher but by the parents. We have no rights now, only obligations. And the only way to avoid such situations is not to participate in any paid collections.«
The only opportunity for teachers to protect themselves in such a situation, they say, is to lay low and wait until the uproar dies down. Otherwise, the consequences for the teacher will be even worse.
«If the principal is strong, they will defend the teacher. But if not, and parents take »by storm,« then what»s there to say? They don«t want to see anything bad in themselves and their child, and we have absolutely no rights. So, all that»s left is to wait until the mother calms down.«
How Will the Conflict Affect the Child? Psychologist«s Opinion
And while teachers pity themselves, a little child is caught between a rock and a hard place. The argument of the public who sided with the mother included fear that isolating the child from the group could become a psychological trauma and grounds for bullying. Is it so—we asked Yelena Suschenko, a clinical psychologist at the Volgograd State Medical University (VolgGMU) Family Medicine Clinic and the private school «Pokoleniye» (Generation).
«Childhood trauma is considered to be events that a child»s psyche, due to age and individual characteristics of the specific child, cannot process. The situation with the morning party is unpleasant for all participants, but whether it«s a trauma for the specific child—it»s hard to say in the abstract. What does the child feel in such a situation? What is their attitude to this event? In any case, support is needed: both at school and at home—then there«s every chance to overcome the situation without far-reaching distress.»
When a child is opposed to the collective, it can change classmates« attitudes. This is confirmed by Yelena Suschenko, but here the work of teachers with children and the atmosphere in the class are important.
«If in such a situation excessive attention is drawn to the child in the collective—that»s a certain risk related to the reaction of the other children. But here everything depends very much on the adults. Bullying is a problem of the class as a group, and the group is managed by the teacher, who can significantly influence the relationships and behavior of the children. So the situation is very contradictory, and its favorable outcome depends on how competently the adults behave. If we ourselves show children how to resolve any contradictions by negotiating, respecting both sides« opinions, allowing that everyone reacts to the same situations differently and that»s normal, helping and supporting those who are more distressed, seeking compromises—the chances are high.«
What Is Happening in the School Now?
Here, everyone already knows about the conflict. Many, although they have taken sides, prefer not to get involved in the conflict. The principal doesn«t want to bring up this topic: she admits that since the beginning of the year, she»s been on «nerves» and waiting for everyone to finally forget about the morning party.
«See this? (Points to a blood pressure monitor.) I start every morning with it. And the teacher too,» says the principal.
Eight-year-old Zhenya continues to attend classes. Although the principal claims that her relationships with classmates haven«t changed, her mother tells that their class has split into two opposing camps. And this has affected not only the parents but also the children.
«There»s one particularly proactive girl there. She specifically removes my daughter from all chats, school and friendly ones. I tell her: don«t pay attention to her. Real friends won»t treat her like that. The parent committee was also changed by the teacher—to one more loyal to her,« says the mother.
The teacher hasn«t personally crossed paths with the mother yet; there»s been no occasion. She continues to work as usual, doesn«t plan to resign, and only hopes that everything will end soon.
«Every person has their own opinion. Who is on whose side—I»m not interested,« says the teacher. »I do my job as I should, and my main job is the children. Common sense always wins, no matter what.«
